birthday poem

By Adam Soldofsky

Poem

 

with blasphemies

and great things in my head

i woke up

but you’d already gone to work 

 

anyway none of it was new 

 

why aren’t they fucking off

the ones who should be

with their insane appeals

to modesty 

 

i’m not about to leave the earth

 

my face when i approach

it suggests

will begin to speak

of miracles 

 

what else is there to talk about 

 

my age

the age of entering into conversation

about real estate

as into range of the enemy 

 

what right have we to own the land 

 

at this point it’s foolish not to

if you can

see a little more of the ancient scroll

to abandon one’s shade and go inside 

 

i consider it a demotion 

 

if a person isn’t slightly embarrassed

by their resolutions

they should probably fuck right off

about this i am ardent 

 

it seems to me a perfect truth 

 

then i will do the most i can

with the sin of vanity

achieve a homeostasis

of loathing and self-love 

 

so much of gratitude is compulsory 

 

some not all i want to say

it feels that way to be miserable

needing more than a few deep breaths

to extinguish 

 

one’s impossible sensitivities 

 

a perfect truth

like a landlord

you are prepared to resent

and do 

 

that’s the beauty of it 

 

that is the beauty of it

whether or not it is a joke

it is a privilege to look up at the sky

to know the stars 

 

were not switched on for you 

 

i appreciate it all

the more

every modicum of love

that finds its way to me 

 

it does not violate my privacy 

 

if i’m the one who always says

too much

at the mere prospect

of a friend 

 

i stand on my head and proclaim 

 

come in! we’re open!

it appears i was born

on this day

squeezed out between small hours 

 

and fast in need of mercy 

 

 

 

October 20, 2019 Concord CA

 


artwork by Eden Soldofsky
Adam Soldofsky is the author of Memory Foam, recipient of a 2017 American Book Award. Follow him on instagram: @adamsoldofsky.

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