LENORE ZIONDr. Zion, to you.

One of the original TNB writers — you might say she’s a first-round draft pick — and still one of the best.  And the funniest.  I mean, she’s hysterical.

She’s danced provocatively to the seductive stylings of Joni Mitchell, but she no longer drives a scooter.

She has some weird midget karma going on.  Here she is discussing it.

She’s fascinated by dead pets.  And old people getting busy.

She’s a reluctant Christmas caroler, but a proud Squiggle-Wiggle Writer.

Morbidity does not bother her, although she suffers from food panic.

Oh, and…she smells.


The Nervous Breakdown is an online culture magazine and literary community. It was founded in 2006. Our masthead can be found here.

12 responses to “Featuring…Lenore Zion”

  1. Uche Ogbuji says:

    If on my mind I can rely, it’s in the sunniest July
    And each separate hilarious post is therapeutic to the core
    Eagerly we watch the feed in hopes the Doctor’s served our need
    From our cares and from our sorrows, do deliver us, Lenore
    Ah, oh rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore-
    TNB for evermore!

    No pressure, of course.

    And one day I shall fulfill my pledge to you of fish head stew.

  2. Irene Zion says:

    It was fun reading these again.
    Everyone should read “In the Name of Watermelon.” That is my very favorite. My stomach hurts from laughing over that one. The blue thing says: “Food Panic.”
    But, please, I beg you, do not read the squiggle writer one.

  3. Zara Potts says:

    Fork fork fork fork fork fork fork.
    You are amazing.
    I love you.
    And you take the best sexiest photos.

  4. Slade Ham says:

    I think I <3 Lenore Zion.

    That, or I “less than” and “three” her.

  5. Joe Daly says:

    I love Lenore’s ink and I have a profound respect for her tireless advocacy for STDs.

  6. Lenore says:

    oh all you guys are so sweet and accepting of my multiple diseases and genetic flaws. i less than three all of you.

  7. Lisa Rae Cunningham says:

    I can probably refer you some clients now that I’ve read your stuff. Whenever I think of you at a checkout counter with a watermelon or sitting on a doctor’s table demanding he give your finger a second look, I burst out laughing. This happens on the job. I think I’ve given a few naked folks a complex they might need to discuss with you.

  8. Irene Zion says:

    Lisa Rae,
    I have to know.
    Why do you spend your day with naked folks?
    (Just curious.)

  9. Erika Rae says:

    I believe that, for me anyway, Lenore Zion IS TNB. She rocks. And I can’t wait to call her Dr. Lenore.

  10. Richard Cox says:

    I can’t comment about your featured contributor status because I’m still mad at you.

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