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Shuffle off to Buffalo Hilo with DON MITCHELL, TNB’s resident anthropologist, marathon runner, and possibly the only person in the world (other than his wife) who splits time between Buffalo and Hawai’i.
He has seen things most people have not: thermonuclear explosions, tsunami waves (albeit only once), women working molten metal, the transit of Venus, and founding fathers whose faces grace currency butchering pigs.
Here’s what else we know about Don:
He was once beaten by a fairy.
He’s still not sure if there is a Hawaiian word for Christmas.
He’s funny in person.
He wears more bling than you’d expect.
He packs heat.
He once was a model for 2(x)ist. (Sort of).
And he’s no longer Ruthless.
Oh!
No longer Ruthless.
Perfect.
I know. How much street cred can I keep if I’m known to be not ruthless?
It took me a while to get that line.
When I did it made me smile.
Don = total street cred
Don is awesome!
We senior TNB people do all right, don’t we?
You should quit being mad at me and accept my congrats on this well-deserved feature.
Congrats!!
(What? Boddah you?)
Bodda you is pretty useful, but I’m fond of, Wot, I owe you money?
Greg gets the congrats, though, doesn’t he? He put it together.
You wrote the content, man. He’s the HuffPo to your Bono.
You’re right.
“Owe you money” is mo bettah.
It’s a second language. I do my best.
The way I learned it, “Wot, I owe you money?” is best said when you catch somebody looking at you funny, like from the car next to you.
That “Pidgin To Da Max” book is very funny.
I thought about “like beef?” but that was too confrontational.
Good stuff, Don! Looking forward to catching up with the archive!
The marathon pieces should amuse you. And maybe the Bing Crosby one.
Don Mitchell,
You are the sweetest thing.
I’m so glad you are the new TNB cover boy!
Thanks, Z. My week of fame!
…and the man has a porpoise tooth balaclava. The man rocks.
I don’t have a rocking chair! Yet.
Cool. Another reason to go through all the pieces I’ve missed.
Gloria! You have a new avatar. Is that a sail behind you?
It is not. I went down to the rail yards to do a photo shoot of a friend, and she snapped this one of me. I’m sitting on a railcard.
Car. Not card.
I have a railcard.
It gets me 1/3 off all my train travel.
@Irwin – intriguing though that may be, it still in no way describes what I’m sitting on in my gravatar/TNB profile pic.
Gloria, it’s the structure that looks like a mast or a boom that’s confusing me. I’ve seen ordinary rail cars but I can’t make sense out of the picture. Is it maybe one of those ones that’s hand-pumped, human powered?
Really, I’m serious. I hate it when I’m looking at an image and can’t work out what it is at all (well, the part that’s you is clear enough).
I didn’t say it did. I’m extremely bored.
Also, you *could* be sitting on my railcard. It’s very small. Less than 1/4 the width of the average backside.
Ah, thanks to Wikipedia I now know that a railcar is a not a railway car.
Even so, what part of a railcar are we looking at?
Holy mackerel. I didn’t know that either. I stand corrected. It is a picture of me sitting on a railway car – specifically a freight car. It is on the front end where the coupler is. The picture is taken from below – my friend bent down practically onto her knees to get the angle, so you’re probably seeing the ladder over my left shoulder. I’ve emailed you another photo, taken the same day, on the same car, which may help you understand the structure better.
This is all too funny. I was certain that you were using railcar correctly, so I looked it up and it seemed plausible, some kind of light rail thing. But no. Strange world.
James is bored, I’m avoiding working on the chapter with the catchy working title “Elliot and Siro Talk About Sex,” and you don’t seem too busy right now. So what shall we talk about? TNB as IM!
Just kidding.
Well, it’s not that I’m not busy. It’s that I’m avoiding reality for a few minutes. I just had a big blow out with one of my sons, who is tired and sunburned and burnt out from a long weekend camping, and I need a timeout. 🙂
Who are Elliot and Siro and why are they talking about sex? Are there any boobs mentioned?
BOOBS!
Boobs solve boredom!
Ha, I’m bored and avoiding working on stuff. It’s like the list of projects I came up with exists only for me to have a list of things to waste my time not doing.
Sunburn is terrible.
I haven’t been burnt in a long time. Mostly because I live in England, and it’s rained for the last two weeks non stop.
Still, it makes for a lot of wet boobs!
Gloria, I went back and read your debut posting — the boob one. I loved it the first time around, and still do. Amazing set . . . of comments.
Thanks, Don. I appreciate it. That’s a huge compliment coming from the likes of you.
The next one isn’t going to be about sex or boobs, I promise. I feel like I’m starting to sound like a one trick pony.
Heh.
Hehheh.
**sigh** I’ll never be sophisticated.
aww man. No sex or boobs? it better be good…
I was thinking about your comment on my post, about my lack of sophistication. I was thinking it about it as I was eating cheese puffs and listening to a playlist which largely consisted of 80s glam metal and the song 99 Red Balloons.
Yeah, you’ve got a point.
But who wants to be sophisticated? look at all those sophisticated bastards with their canapes and champagne and monocles and classical music… *snorts* losers…
i am so obsessed with don.
What about Don in the balaclava with the shotgun? That may in fact be my favourite picture of all time.
That sounds like a solution to the game “Clue.”
Ha! Nice work!
Wait! We’ve been here before. Psychologist, heal thyself!
Too bad you don’t know that R and I are coming to L.A. within the month.
Right on, Don. A man who packs heat, rocks bling and splits his time between Buffalo and Hawaii commands my attention.
With your Tyson background, I’m sure it’s the bling most of all. Right?
It’s not the bling, Don, it’s what the bling represents. I’m here to bring the love.
My italics are out of control lately. Totally unstoppable!
I get it anyway, and thanks for the thought.
Come to the Big Island sometime and learn something about lomi-lomi (unless you already do). Amusing thing is that there’s a lomi-lomi guy who grew up maybe 30 miles from where I did, on the Big Island, and now lives about 15 miles from me up here on the mainland.
I would love to learn lomi lomi on the Big Island. You are tapping my sunshine daydreams.
L.A.? Hmm?
Where the heck is my comment? I wrote something awesome and witty about Don being the featured contributor this week. At least I remember it to be awesome and witty.
Anyway, shaka to you, brah. You are the man.
Yeah, we were all wondering why you were shining him on like that. It was the talk of Facebook all weekend.
It’s just a side-effect of that gamma-ray burster thing.
I was shining him on because Don is one crazy diamond.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmjHT5GpAYQ
Was that the indoor golf one?