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MATT BALDWIN. Master of Fine Arts…and of martial arts. Has demonstrated both skill sets at TNB, where we have read about him taking on sharks, bears, knife-wielding French Quarter muggers…but not, unfortunately, gun-toting drug dealers.
Pride of San Diego. Recovering Sea World enthusiast. Dime Storyteller.
Thirty-one-year old fascinated by creatures thirty-one million years old (and even older).
New Orleans resident on August 29, 2005, and because he worked at the hospital, stayed pat during and after Hurricane Katrina.
Possibly the illegitimate child of his abusive stepfather, but doesn’t know for certain (or feel the need to).
Leg man. Safe sex advocate (give it up!).
And yes, ladies, he’s available!
High five! Here you are!
Here I am – making my stand!
I fell asleep watching Totally Killer Greg put the photos together for this the other night
and then promptly had a dream involving Matt:
I was in danger and I used a payphone to call Matt to come help me. (I guess the casting people in my subcon thinks Matt is a good candidate for hero.) But my dream version of his Mom answered and wouldn’t
let him come to the phone until I agreed that he was a “level six good driver”.
I don’t know – you know how dreams are. Thought I’d share this here – seemed like a good place to do so.
Yay for Matt!
I wish I had crazy dreams like that. I get sick of the ones where my teeth are falling out.
Did you finally agree that Matt was a level six good driver? 🙂
NEVER!!! I will not be forced to give in to her demands!
Oh, wait, that’s a different dream.
Great, Stephanie! Now we’ll never know Matt’s driving competency!
I assure you I am a far better driver than my mother ever was, so you can rate that however you please.
“Level six good driver” is a real headscratcher. Though obviously, my mother was the arch-villain in this narrative, so obviously she was attempting to thwart you from summoning my aid.
I wanted to say something about “creature feature,” in reference to all the animals, but that could be taken the wrong way.
At any rate, here you are! Lookit you!
“Creature feature”?! Hey, I resemble that remark!
In a karate tournament, you’d be a ‘Beat ya! Feature.’
That’s a pretty great photo collage.
Yay Matt!
Isn’t it? Greg outdid himself on this one, for sure.
It took me a while to notice the change in picture on the front page, but I noticed how awesome it was and hoped it was for someone suitably awesome.
And of course, it is.
Yah, I like the collage too. And Mr Matt also.
When Irwin’s went up, he was offline.
Now Matt’s up, and I think he’s traveling.
How many comments can we get before he gets even one response in?
I’m guessing in the 20s. Of course if Z & G keep doing doubles . . . .
Matt may or may not have been informed via text messaging. I
won’tsay. Nonetheless, that doesn’t mean that we can’t make a mess of things before he has a chance to come out and play.No, I’m not doing any traveling until the end of the month. Just spending the morning doing some household chores.
Tomorrow I adventure. Today I bake bread.
Nice collage of photos—-good for Greg! And thank goodness we don’t have Matt hiding in a hat. He’s a cutie. And he makes bread! And he has a furry face!
Ah, I’m clean-shaven at the moment. The beard was getting a little too itchy in the summer heat, so I’m baby-faced again. I think I might start going seasonal with it: grow it out for the fall/winter, shave it off for spring/summer.
Good idea, Matt. I’ve never, obviously, thought about it. I do remember that I began to get a beard around the time my son did. 😉
Basically, though, I’m a sucker for a furry faced man and wonder why more men don’t sport beards and moustaches. It’s handy for filtering soup, too. heh.
Holy crap – it’s me!
Holy crap — it’s Matt!
That’s the exact same expression I say at the mirror every single morning.
By the way, all of your lovely gravatars are really giving us homely people a complex.
Homely! Are you kidding me? All of you people have the coolest gravatars, and it has driven me into the depths of gravatar anxiety for the past … two weeks is it? Anyway, don’t be surprised if I suddenly show up with a light saber or a face-concealing hat trying to keep up.
But I do hope you detected the “kudos to you in the much deserved limelight” in my “holy-crap — it’s Matt!” comment 😉
Holy crap, it’s a full headshot of Cynthia!
heh heh!
YES!
HELL YES!
Right where you belong and shit.
Thanks, Duke. That means a great deal.
Yes! Representing SD! Congrats, man! Looking forward to digging back in to these old chestnuts!
Damn straight – we can’t let the LA and SF factions of TNB hog all the glory, can we? Fuck, no!.
Matt is one of my favorite writers at TNB. I am in awe of his fighting ability, which I wish I had during all my years of hockey, and his ability to face sharks, hurricanes and muggers, all of which he revealed through raw, honest creative nonfiction prose. I am honored to leave this comment.
I am utterly humbled to recieve it, Nick. That’s some mighty, mighty praise indeed.
Matt… you’re featured!
Whoomp! There it is…!!! Whoomp! There it is…!!! Whoomp! There it is…!!! Whoomp! There it is…!!!
Woot!
Heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Matt!
*Insert Tonight Show fanfare music here*
*chops through door with ax*
Nice.
Yeah, Matt!
You’re the best!
Matt! Reppin SoCal. Right on, brother.