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BEN LOORY‘s first book, the short story collection Stories for Nighttime and Some For the Day, comes out this week. (Holding this gorgeous volume in your hand, incidentally, is a compelling argument against the e-book).
Let’s look back at his TNB offerings, in which he’s regaled us with tales of an open (and blank) book…
…and the time he saw Robin Williams looking like crap…
…and a dream he had in which he’s at Walgreen’s…
…and his own death (let us remember him fondly as a guy who was OK at tennis)…
…and how to write a screenplay without reading Syd Field…
…and the down side of mental institutions…
…and other posts that never were.
Not Ben Jonson, that juicing fucker. Not Jacko’s Ben, though “you’ve got a friend in me.” Not Ben Bernanke, which is why the economy sucks. Not Ben-Gurion, Israeli #1 #1. Not Ben Stein (Nor Buehler! Anyone?) Not Ben Franklin, but you’re getting warmer!
It’s Ben the fabulous fabulist (yes, I know you write more diversely than that, and awesome in any genre, but I have my predilections). Now I have a lot of Ben link clicking to do to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Luckily it’s the weekend-like.
May your literary stars continue to shine by the constellation.
thanks uche! i always aim for fabulous. nice to hear i have you fooled!
Congrats, Ben! This is a great opportunity for me to get acquainted with your “Greatest Hits.” Looking forward to it!
listen to the melvins’ the maggot while you’re reading if you want to get the full effect.
Morning, Ben! This is too cool. I’m going to read all of these again. I’m excited.
You’re cool.
you’re cooler. and you look like an angel in your picture.
Ben Loory,
I told you you’d be famous!
I know this stuff!
i know you do! i never doubted for a minute. next stop, the white house! and then the nobel prize. for physics.
i really do want a nobel prize for physics.
just realized that about myself.
Congratulations on the early morning self-discovery. Now what?
now i go to bed!
You don’t want the White House, Ben. Nothing but trouble. I’m sure you’ll get the Nobel in physics, though. You have your ways and you are hard to resist.
why thank you! it’s good to hear.
Ben Loory.
I love eating sandwiches with you. I love your can collection. I love your smile. AND I LOVE YOUR WORK.
I shouted that last bit.
I wish you liked to share your horseradish with me but other than that, I have no complaints.
He’s not sharing. Fuck that.
seriously.
Amigo, you’d be even more badass if you had a Nobel Prize for Physics.
yeah, it looks good on the resume, doesn’t it?
Not only is Ben uber-cool, but when I browsed around in his back postings I found — in a comment — the route-map to Irene Zion’s pig piece.
Thanks, Ben. Rock on.
Oh, why the physics prize? Why not try for the one with the oddest name: Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine? See? You get your choice.
that shit’s for doctors, don. i don’t want to be a doctor, i want to know things. and meet god and stuff like that.
pig piece?
“Pig piece” was unnecessarily obscure. Sorry. I knew that Irene was looking for a piece she posted several years ago (on TNB). I had forgotten all about the .archives.thenervousbreakdown.com URL, but you mentioned it in a comment to one of your postings.
Remembering that there was such a URL led me to the piece that Irene was looking for, and that was that.
You can look for god in DNA as well as elementary particles, no? But I take your meaning.
NO DON YOU CAN’T LOOK FOR GOD IN DNA!!! jesus, don’t you know anything?? god can only be found in nonexistent places, and in dead languages and mexico and stuff like that.
Ah, that god of the gaps stuff. I’ve been wasting my time in baby gap.
baby gap’s cool. i think thor shops there. or he should, if he doesn’t. bright colors.
Baby Thor. Aaaaw. Wook at his cute wittle hammer.
Wait! How did this get in here?
It’s old. Good thread but an old one.
Damn. Maybe Ben got his Nobel for his time machine work, and I don’t mean the Apple backup solution
I am here to offer kudos. Kudos!
I’d say I’d go read all the stories again, but when I do, I always develop a weird sort of writerly crush on you and bother you for weeks after, usually offending you in the process.
Also, I am a very busy woman.
Meaning all my clothes are dirty and my house is a mess, so I have to go play on facebook.
Ben ben ben ben ben ben hi hi hi hi
you’ve never offended me one time, becky. in fact, you might be the only person in the whole world who has never ever offended me even one time, just a little bit.
and thank you for the kudos. i always do like kudos.
The only one! I like being special. And I like people who aren’t offended by me.
Ben, you make dreams come true.
that’s my job!!
well, not really.
Ben is ridiculously cool. I want him to come back to my house and drink apple martinis with Scott, Megan and me again. By the woodpile. I still don’t understand how “by the woodpile” came about, but I’m just sure it has something to do with the aforementioned martinis.
Everybody but me has met Ben.
Stupid far-away Minnesota. *kick dirt*
erika, the woodpile probably has something to do with that immense pile of wood you have.
at least i seem to remember an immense pile of wood. it might have been trees. or appletinis.
becky, the world has not ended yet… someday minnesota will come closer!
No no. Maybe it’s better this way.
I’m terrified to spoil it by finding out that we hate each other in real life. Maybe you file your nails in public or something.
Maybe you make a lot of sudden, loud noises.
Maybe you don’t laugh at my jokes.
Maybe my wild gesticulations and impulsive behavior are offensive to you.
Omigod, Ben, what if we don’t actually like each other at all? Just our gravatars like each other???
i’ve never filed my nails once in my life. well, that’s not true, i did once… it made a horrible grinding noise in my head that i am still reeling from. what a nightmare!
so no worries on that front.
plenty of others, though!
i’m sure everything will go absolutely horribly.
We have nail file fear in common! You don’t know how big this is. People look at me like I’m crazy when I start gagging and run out of the room at the sound.
Now see…maybe everything will be okay after all.
Maybe if we just stick to talking about our neuroses.
what do you mean neuroses? i’m the picture of health. mental and otherwise. i’m in the new yorker!
Oh me too. Me too. Except being in the New Yorker. And those other things.
When you have ear plugs in and then you file your nails, it sounds like you’re filing your brain.
Little known fact.