This is a new feature we’re kicking off this week, so you’ll want to read the rules. (We’ll wait).  Okay, now on to the “Words” segment:

I saw Robin Williams at the Virgin Megastore. He was looking at the DVD new releases. I was standing on the other side and I looked up. I saw him. And I saw him see me.

Let me be clear: Robin Williams looked like shit. I love Robin Williams, but he did. He was skinny and unshaven and his skin was almost gray. He was wearing an old army jacket.

The worst thing about it was he looked so sad.
Robin Williams! I wanted to say. You’re so funny!

But he didn’t look funny. He didn’t, at all. He looked like he might crumble away.

For a minute I just stood there and tried to decide how to go about saving Robin Williams’s life.

Maybe I could buy him an omelet or something, I thought.

I couldn’t think of anything else.

[Who am I?  Read more and find out!]

The Nervous Breakdown is an online culture magazine and literary community. It was founded in 2006. Our masthead can be found here.

18 responses to “Who Am I – 081311”

  1. Becky Palapala says:

    Ben Loory.

  2. Irene Zion says:

    Some honor system.
    I knew this one right off.
    The one true genius on TNB.
    My lips are sealed, for what good it does now.

  3. D.R. Haney says:

    Looks like Celine, to me.

    Yeah, I read the fucking rules! Unlike certain people whose lips are sealed.

    • Irene Zion says:


      As my demented mother used to say, “that’s not how I see it.”

      Now that I think of it, there are a few genius writers on TNB, but some of them are cranky.

    • James D. Irwin says:

      I read the rules, because one must know the rules in order to play by them.

      The British always play by the rules.

  4. Irene Zion says:

    My heart goes out to anyone with sleeping troubles, Duke.
    Should you find any remedies, I’m first in line to buy the cure!

  5. Erika Rae says:

    Ah, Ben. No hesitation.

  6. Gloria says:

    ben, obviously.

    do i still get the points if i have to google the author?

  7. Quenby Moone says:

    Unless my eyes deceive me, is that Jean Auel of “Clan of the Cave Bear?” She’s looking ruddy this morning!

  8. Justin Bell says:

    The pic is Louis-Ferdinand Celine.

  9. Rachel Pollon says:

    I knew it was Ben, too. Am I doing this right? Are we supposed to post our answers here? Ben!

    By the way, I just found out today that Robin Williams and my brother share the same birthday.

    I don’t know who the author is, but he looks French and like he might go on a bit.

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