Here are the rules.  Here is the excerpt of the week:

I don’t remember what actually started the discussion, but somehow the next thing I knew I was complaining about my TMJ. TMJ is a jaw disorder and hurts like hell. You can get it for a number of reasons. One of them is the repeated blowing of a Superhuman Member for a period of nearly 20 years.


When the guy I was setting my girlfriend up with heard about the Giant Penis of my husband, and my afflicted jaw, he seemed nervous. Actually, I didn’t notice it at the time because he’s the sort of guy who often seems nervous. But later, when he and my friend were actually dating, sometimes the topic would come up when they were alone. Like my friend would say, “Oh, Gina and David asked if I could watch their kids tomorrow night because they have to go out,” and the guy would say, “What, are they taking his Giant Penis for a walk?” Or it would be raining when we were all going out somewhere and after David and I had left for our car he’d say something like, “Maybe they can use his Giant Penis as an umbrella.”


You get the picture.

[Who am I? Read more and find out!]

Last week: science fiction master Robert Heinlein, author of, among many other classics, Stranger in a Strange Land.

The Nervous Breakdown is an online culture magazine and literary community. It was founded in 2006. Our masthead can be found here.

3 responses to “Who Am I — 091711”

  1. Becky Palapala says:

    Looks a little like a somewhat grown-up and hippie-fied Amy Sedaris, but it’s not.

  2. Leah says:


  3. Jennifer says:

    Don’t know who it is, but I know who it’s not. It’s not Arundhati Roy.

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