Good Luck: Episode Forty-Four
Why do people write stories? Because they’ll die soon, that’s why. Why do people read stories? Because they’re alive, for now, that’s why.
The editor was overwhelmed. Submissions poured in. Another 2000 words about someone’s grandma dying, $20 deposited into the account. By the end of the first week, a hundred stories a day.
The editor called me on the phone, “I don’t know what to do, man. I can’t keep up.” It was the middle of the day, I was in bed. The sun shined through the Venetian blinds.
“How many stories do we have now?”
“Over a thousand.”
“Well, it’ll get worse, just before we close.”
“I need help.”
“I’d love to help you pick a winner, Joey, but I’m on night shift. I’m in no condition.”
“Yeah. Okay. No worries.”
“Just batch select and reject them all. Send that form letter I sent you.”
The form letter said this:
Yo, thanks for sending your story about your grandma dying to the Good Luck novel. We got a lot of stories about a lot of people’s grandmas dying, and regret that there is no place in the larger work for the death of your specific grandma. Much Respect, The Editor.