Recent Work By Garrett Socol

“You don’t know the history of psychiatry,” Tom Cruise famously told Matt Lauer.“I do.”

“I want to be the face of depression,” Delta Burke once said.

“This is the new AIDS anthem,” Liza Minnelli proclaimed before singing a song no one ever heard again.

By how many votes did Barack Obama beat John McCain in the 2008 presidential election?  9,522,083.

By how many votes did Hilary Swank beat Annette Bening in the 2000 Oscar race?  That’s top secret information.  We will never know.  Ever.

We’ve all heard the old adage: “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” or the revamped version penned by Joan Rivers:“If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.”I generally keep my negative opinions to myself, but I’ve just about reached my limit.