For the next little while — and “little while” may turn out to be “a few weeks” or “year,” depending — we’re testing out a new feature in this space, called, oh-so-cleverly, Who Am I.

It’s not really a feature; feature makes it sound like a Michael Bay movie, and this is more modest than that, and does not involve Ben Affleck or explosions.  At least, not yet.

Really what Who Am I is is a game.

Check that: it’s actually two games, or, rather, one game in two parts: “Words” and “Images.”

The “Words” section is, we will post a random excerpt of a great piece from the TNB archive, and you have to guess who wrote it.  The cool thing is, you’ll know right away if you’re right, because you can click on the link at the bottom of the excerpt to read the entire post.  With that part, we’re sort of going with the honor system.

The “Images” part is harder.  Each and every week, we will post a photograph of a well-known writer.  You have to guess, in the comment section, the identity of said writer.  For example, if the picture was this:

 

you would write “Shya Scanlon” in the comment section.

Just kidding, folks.  You’d actually write “William Shakespeare.”

Whoever gets the right answer first wins the week.  The savvy lady or gentleman who identifies the most pictures first, and correctly, in the time frame — the end of the year, let’s say — wins!

Like the Times crossword, correct answers will be printed the following week; unlike the Times crossword, there is no 800 number to call for a clue.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should add that this game is a variation on one designed by the great Kimberly M. “Don’t Call Me Kim” Wetherell at the inaugural TNB-LE.  K-Dub is a veritable fountainhead of good ideas, although, as we also discovered at that very same event, she can’t run a game of Bingo to save her life.

Will there be a Grand Prize involved?  Yes, there will.  We’re still working out the details on that.  The Grand Prize may be the sort of thing that only this fine site can deliver: Brad might interview the winner, for example, like he did for our 1000th Twitter follower…or Jessica Blau might do the same, but in the guise of the Six Question Sex Interview.  Maybe Becky will concede an argument with you, maybe Rich Ferguson will incorporate your name into one of his spoken word pieces, maybe Simon Smithson will crash on your couch.  Maybe we’ll tell you our one big secret: that The Dust is really Joyce Carol Oates.

Or the prize could involve something more tangible, like free books, or gift certificates, or a TNB t-shirt (produced by List-tees, natch).  We haven’t ruled anything out, not even sexual favors; so far, the only person who’s volunteered to provide them is Fabian, but we’re hoping Lenore will cave (as of this writing, all she’s agreed to do is the TNB Kissing Booth at AWP, but that’s just to promote her book, My Dead Pets Are Interesting).  Either way, we’ll come up with something cool and/or sloppy.

I think that about covers it.  Enjoy the game!

BALLOON BOY is your friend. He is also the official mascot and spiritual leader of The Nervous Breakdown.

12 responses to “Who Am I?”

  1. […] is a new feature we’re kicking off this week, so you’ll want to read the rules. (We’ll wait).  Okay, now on to the “Words” […]

  2. Joe Daly says:

    I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t get it. Why is Shakespeare Shya Scanlon?

  3. Gloria says:

    I’ll be sort of weirded out if The Dust is Joyce Carol Oates. Though I love JCO’s writing, I’ve never crushed on her…

  4. Joe Daly says:

    Thanks for the clarification, Balloon Boy! Without your intervention, I would have spent the rest of the day sitting in my bathtub, fully-clothed while sucking my thumb and rocking back and forth, hoping it will all just go away.

    Thanks to you, I won’t have to do that fully-clothed.

  5. Mary Richert says:

    I am going to win, damnit. And my prize is going to be a massive TNB Slumber Party at my house.

  6. Lisa Rae Cunningham says:

    I was side-tracked by the actual piece of writing. I did not follow directions. (Big surprise.) So I already know it’s… you know who. I’m either a loser or a cheater on this round. I’ll take loser. Cheating’s not my style.

  7. […] are the rules.  And here is the “Who Am I” excerpt of the […]

  8. […] are the rules.  And here is the “Who Am I” excerpt of the […]

  9. […] are the rules.  And here is the excerpt of the […]

  10. […] are the rules. Here is the excerpt of the […]

  11. […] are the rules.  Here is the excerpt of the […]

  12. apsiegel says:

    The Poet Laureate of Pottsville…John O’Hara!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *