The 24-year-old actress sported a colorful manicure in court Tuesday that included obscene messages on each of her middle fingers. Close-up photos taken by a courtroom photographer revealed the tiny letters, which made worldwide news Wednesday on entertainment websites. – By SANDY COHEN, Associated Press

“Fuck U,” each middle finger read.

Well, I dug through a file I have under my desk labeled “Lindsay Lohan’s Fingers” (it was in front of my file labeled “Mark Hamill’s Haircut”) and I thought I would transcribe her lesser-known fingernail stencils she’s sported over the past couple days.

 

 

 

LEFT HAND

Thumb:  UR E-Trade Baby!

Index Finger:  Bread, Red Bull, Spray Tan

Ring Finger:  REMEMBER SCRAM IS ON

Pinky:  4 coke

 

RIGHT HAND

Thumb:  DUIs = II

Index Finger:  OMG Sam Rrrr!

Ring Finger:  Free Paris Lindsay

Pinky:  4 x-tra coke

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GREG BOOSE grew up in northeast Ohio, got his MFA degree in Moorhead, MN, and now lives in Chicago. His writing has appeared on/in The Huffington Post,The Big Jewel, Yankee Pot Roast, Monkeybicycle, Opium Magazine, McSweeneys.net, Hobart, Feathertale, Time Out Chicago, Chicago Public Radio, Chicago Reader, NFL.com and more. Along with his wife, he is the co-editor for BlackBook Magazine's guide to Chicago. He won the 2008 Readers' Choice Award and Editor's Choice Award for satire in Farmhouse Magazine.



You must be this tall to visit his website at gregboose.com.



Follow him on Twitter at Greg_Boose.

5 responses to “Lindsay Lohan’s Lesser-Known Fingernail Stencils”

  1. sheree says:

    Bwahahahaha!
    P.S I wonder what’s written on her toenails?

  2. Uche Ogbuji says:

    Do they seriously have ultra-zoomed cameras trained on LL?

    And I’m with Sheree. Toenail messages FTW! 🙂

  3. No Lee Press-On Nail could ever match wits with Lindsay’s nails. Nice one, Brother Boose.

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