Word count: 94,794

Page count: 352

Cover price, in USD: 13.99

In Canadian dollars: 15.99


Months taken to write: 13

Drafts sent to editor before acceptance: 3

Covers sent to author and editor before acceptance: 3

References to Brad Listi: 1

To Brad Pitt: 7

To syndicated astrologer Eugenia Last: 12

To Barack Obama: 13

To US Weekly: 19

To Josh Duhamel: 25

Number of rock star characters whose children attend the same preschool as Fathermucker’s narrator’s son 1

Number of real-life rock stars whose children attended the same preschool as Fathermucker’s author’s son: 1

Number of real-life rock stars whose children attended the same preschool as Fathermucker’s author’s son who submitted “21 Questions” for TNB: 1

Number of rock star characters based in part on popular contributors at TNB: 1


Year of publication, Hans Asperger’s “‘Autistic psychopathy’ in children”: 1944

Year of publication, Lorna Wing’s “Asperger’s syndrome: a clinical account”: 1981

Year of first publication in English, Hans Asperger’s “‘Autistic psychopathy’ in children”: 1991

Number of schools for autism founded by Hans Asperger that were destroyed by stray bombs in World War Two: 1

Edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders that first recognized Asperger’s syndrome as a diagnosis distinct from autism: 4

Edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders that will no longer do so: 5

Incidents of autism per 1000 births, 1995: .05

Incidents of autism per 1000 births, 2010: .17

Number of prominent autism researchers who are related to Sacha Baron-Cohen: 1

Ratio of boys diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome to girls diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, estimated: 4:1


Year of release, Rain Man: 1988

Year of release, Mr. Mom: 1983

Number of Academy Awards won, Rain Man: 4

Number of Academy Awards won, Mr. Mom: 0

Number of characters in Rain Man claimed to be “autistic savants”: 1

Number of characters in Rain Man claimed to be “autistic savants” based on real people who were diagnosed with autism: 0

Number of toothpicks on the floor: 246

Number left in the box: 4

Number of real-life autistics who can reliably count a pile of toothpicks on the floor by just glancing at it: 0


Year of the first documented use of word househusband: 1955

Average duration of first marriages that end in divorce, in years: 8

Children who are involved in a new divorce annually, in millions: 1

Population of the town of New Paltz: 12,830

Number of New Paltz residents who voted for Barack Obama for president in 2008: 5,360

For John McCain: 1,274

For Ralph Nader: 75

Year New Paltz was founded by Huguenots: 1678

Number of same-sex marriages performed by New Paltz Mayor Jason West on February 26, 2004: 25

Number witnessed by police: 19

Number of “solemnizing marriages without a license” misdemeanor counts West was subsequently charged with: 19

Number of New Yorkers swayed to relocate to New Paltz in part because of West’s stance on this issue, minimum: 2


Number of Facebook users who LIKE Fathermucker, as of this writing: 238

Number of Twitter followers, @gregolear, as of this writing: 1,192

Number of people on my official mailing list: 368

Number of stars given to Fathermucker in first Goodreads review: 5

Number of subtle TNB references in Fathermucker, approximate: 23

Number of children who contributed drawings to the Fathermucker book trailer: 14

Number who are children of TNB contributors: 9

Number who are nieces: 2

Weeks until official October 4, 2011, release date: 21

Days: 148

Seconds: 12,873,600

Days until galleys are available: 0

Days until you can pre-order a copy on Amazon (or at your local indie bookstore): 0


(With apologies to a certain venerable magazine, whose gimmick this is, and props to Lauren Cerand, whose idea this was.)

TAGS: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

GREG OLEAR is the Los Angeles Times bestselling author of the novels Totally Killer and Fathermucker and founding editor of The Weeklings.

76 responses to “Harper (Paperback)’s Index: Fathermucker by the Numbers”

  1. First comment!

    That’s a sweet cover and I can’t wait to read the new book (although I can’t watch the trailer).

    • Greg Olear says:

      Thanks, man. The cover looks even better in book form than it does on the screen. I’m very excited about it.

      You can’t watch because of Chinese censors, or is the link bad?

  2. Yeah, it’s the bloody internet here. Terrible. I have a little device that helps me access FB and Twitter and my e-mail (sporadically) but not YouTube. It’s not fast enough for the internet.

    Anyway, they let books through in the post so I’ll be sure to get a copy. I’m sure it looks better in reality – they always do.

  3. Art Edwards says:

    Michael Keaton was robbed. I don’t think the academy appreciates comedy.

    Do we know for sure Fathermucker will not be a TNB Book Club choice?

  4. Greg– I really dig how that brain of yours works. Go Fathermucker!

  5. “Number of characters in Rain Man claimed to be “autistic savants” based on real people who were diagnosed with autism: 0 Number of real-life autistics who can reliably count a pile of toothpicks on the floor by just glancing at it: 0 ”

    Number of times I wanted to scream when people did that quiz on Facebook to see if they were on the autistic spectrum and then made a joke about going card counting in Vegas: many

    Number of times I ever voiced my disdain about it on Facebook: 0

    Number of times I feel grateful that your book will debunk some of the annoying and hurtful myths about the autistic spectrum: too many to count

  6. Anabel Garver says:

    When is the movie coming out? I think it’d be a great one!! Who’d play y’all? Fun and picture it happening!

  7. zoe zolbrod says:

    Greg, I have to play the rock star guessing game–and I’m playing it without researching who’s submitted 21 questions to TNB. I’m just going on a hunch, a wish, a dream. Is it….. Rhett Miller?

    • Greg Olear says:

      I should specify that said rock star’s kids are older than mine, so I didn’t know him or anything. But your hush/wish/dream is…well, let’s just say there’s an old 97 percent chance it’s correct.

      • zoe zolbrod says:

        OMG I’m so excited! I just used my hunch to add sizzle to an email in which I passed your book trailer along to the friends who turned me on to the Old 97s. Celebrity sells! That Listi reference is going to have your book hopping off the shelves!

        • Greg Olear says:

          My fave 97s line of all time is:

          “My name’s Stewart Ransom Miller
          I’m a serial lady killer.”
          She said, “I’m already dead.”
          That’s exactly what she said.

        • zoe zolbrod says:

          Dead or alive, she ends up on top, while he’s on liquor.

        • Greg Olear says:

          This reminds me of the little ditty I composed when the kids were not yet potty trained…sung to the tune of “Time Bomb”:

          Got a stink bomb
          In my butt, mom
          I think it’s poopy and I think that I-I-
          I need a wiper
          And a new diaper

        • I’ve had “Barrier Reef” in my head ever since I read this comment. I finally found it on my iPod today in the car and cranked it up, just to get it out of my head. Awesome song.

        • Greg Olear says:

          “Murder or a Heart Attack” is also really great. Best song ever written about a runaway cat.

  8. Brad Listi says:

    Extremely bitter that Brad Pitt gets more mentions than I do, but I suppose I’ll get over it eventually.

    • Greg Olear says:

      He has more kids than you do.

      Sidenote: Every time there’s an US Weekly cover with Pitt on it, and the headline reads “BRAD [whatever],” I’m tempted to Photoshop your face over his and post it on TNB.

  9. Lelia Mander says:

    Number of times I laughed out loud reading FATHERMUCKER: 10 and counting.

    “binky” as term for oral sex
    Preschoolers and pirate fixation: leading to “Serial Killers of the Caribbean” ride at Disney World
    Team Stacy’s Billy Martin
    Roland as Marv Albert
    Description of Mrs. Drinkwater

    and more to come!

  10. 1955 for “househusband,” eh? I’m curious as to how/why it made it’s debut.

    • Greg Olear says:

      Not sure. I found it at OED online, I think. Makes sense historically; the 50s is when the gender role blur began. But I don’t know what the context was, alas…

  11. So now we have to wait until October? In anticipation of a possible French edition, I may try to convince English language-learners I teach that Fathermucker is the newest gros mot, see if I can’t get it to catch on as everyday street lingo.

    Mr. Mom really should have trounced Terms of Endearment though.

    • Greg Olear says:

      Do it! You’re joking, but street lingo is exactly what I’m trying to introduce. If I can successfully coin a phrase, I’ll get an A in Marketing for the semester.

      Mr. Mom does include Dabney Coleman, always a plus…

  12. James D. Irwin says:

    Finally my love of numbers based factoids has been combined with my love of Greg Olear.

    I’m looking forward to getting my hands on a copy of fathermucker. I loved Totally Killer, but you knew that already.

  13. Zara Potts says:


    The post and the book.

    You are awesome, Greg Olear, just awesome.

    • Greg Olear says:

      Thanks, Zara. And thanks for reading!

      Did the version you read have the screenplay interludes? I can’t remember. I added those late in the game, but they’re pretty funny.

      • Zara Potts says:

        No, it didn’t!
        So now I have even more to look forward to!
        I can’t wait to see the finished product.

  14. D.R. Haney says:

    Number of personal friends who remind me of Josh Duhamel as well as Brad Pitt (and I don’t say that in a flattering way): 1

    Number of personal friends who remind me of Josh Duhamel as well as Brad Pitt (and I don’t say that in a flattering way) who are TNB contributors: 0

    On a scale of 1-10, how weird I find it that Fathermucker contains numerous references to both Josh Duhamel and Brad Patt, who remind me of a personal friend (and I don’t say that in a flattering way): 7.5

    Number of real-life rock stars, whose children attended the same preschool as Fathermucker’s author’s son, who look, in my opinion, like Justin Bieber is going to look in twenty years: 1

    Number of times I’ll congratulate the author of Fathermucker on its publication: once in this comment, multiple times in the future

    • Greg Olear says:

      Thanks, Duke. It’s pronounced BEE-ber, by the way, not BYE-ber, and I love that you didn’t know.

      My own feelings about Duhamel (pronounced DUMB-ul) closely mirror those of my protagonist, so I won’t go there in this space…

  15. pixy says:

    this is my favorite:

    “Number of prominent autism researchers who are related to Sacha Baron-Cohen: 1”

    where do you find this information? and why the heck do i have to wait 21 weeks to read this?

    i’ve also devised a way to get you another, unexpected reader. because she is a little obsessed with that dude who had to go a little ghetto-fab (you gotta look kinda close) on his inaugural solo album. he was a late bloomer, that one. but a little too pretty for my liking.

    • Greg Olear says:

      Simon Baron Cohen is one of the world’s leading experts in the field. And I kept picturing him as Borat, so I checked to see if they were related. They are. Some families are very talented.

      I know of whom you speak, I think. Thanks for spreading the word!

      • pixy says:

        have you seen the gold tooth on the cover of “the instigator”? it was so wrong that it was a little bit right. he may be pretty, but at least he has a sense of humor.

  16. Ronlyn Domingue says:

    Loved the children’s drawings in the trailer. Congrats on the terrific blurbs!

    The pub date quickly approaches, doesn’t it….

  17. I think I gave you a gushing, glowing review when I was halfway into Fathermucker, but then life and surgery crud got in the way, and I’m not sure whether or not I told you that I finished it and loved it? But I did. Loved, loved, loved it. I’m so excited about the official release! And the inevitable movie based on the book! xoxo.

  18. Jessica Blau says:

    LOVE THIS! So much fun!

  19. Greg Olear says:

    Google ads is now bombarding the space around my piece with Aspergers and autism-related stuff. What, no love for the Mr. Mom remake? #googleadsfail

  20. jmblaine says:

    Congratulations Proud Papa
    had you asked
    i’d have gladly
    colored you a

    All us old
    TNBers share
    in your joy, sir.

  21. […] This post originally ran at The Nervous Breakdown on 9 May, […]

  22. Number of times I wished I’d thought of doing this while reading: 6

    • Greg Olear says:

      Thanks, Sean. As Michael Keaton’s Bruce Wayne says to his butler in the first “Batman” movie, when asked how many cases of bubbly should be opened, “Six? Yeah, six is good.”

  23. Looking forward to reading this Greg.

    • Greg Olear says:

      Thanks, Jeffro. You will be able to soon, although I expect you won’t have much free time in the next few months…

      • Well let me just say, any book that mentions the following within the first three pages will have me turning pages rather swiftly: Bret Michaels’ hair circa 1989, superior positioning while going for a rebound (great basketball analogy), and Patrick Swayze in Point Break. I mean, you even quoted the most reminiscent lyric used in the movie Over the Edge to start in Cheap Trick’s Surrender. Who knows? This may be Annabelle’s first novel. Forget reading her Curious George aloud when I can read her Fathermucker.

        • Greg Olear says:

          Thanks! So I take it the galley arrived. : )

          Glad you’re digging it.

          My daughter, who is now four and a half, was in the middle the other day, playing Monkey in the Middle, and she had her knees bent, and her left hand out to her brother’s eye level, and I was like, “How the hell does she know how to play D?” She’s like a little Tony Allen. Unreal.

        • Yeah man, came Friday. And for the record:

          How many times did I show family members my name in the Acknowledgments section: 3

          That totally took me by surprise when I was flipping through my copy. Big thanks. If I never make it into Barnes and Noble with my own book one day, I can at least say I’ve made it on the shelves in two other people’s books. Ha.

          That’s funny about your daughter and the Tony Allen comparison. Was she trying to lead her Monkey in the Middle opponent to his weak side? Ha. I was hoping Allen would be able to lock down either Durant or Westbrook today. But it wasn’t to be. (Well, whoever goes to the Finals, I just hope the Heat, if they make it, don’t win. I’m a LeBron hater)

        • Greg Olear says:

          Well deserved, Jeffro. And thanks for the Tublr love.

          Now, on to hoop: it kind of annoys me that the Knicks traded Z-Bo when they did, because the team was playing really well, and he’s a great fit for d’Antoni’s system. Then they waited like two years just to sign Amare…I like Stat, but is he really any better than Z-Bo? We all want LBJ to lose. I want to see him retire ringless. But I don’t see the Bulls beating them. Go Thunder, I guess.

  24. Gloria says:

    Only half the people in New Paltz vote? What the…? Is that average? I feel bad for not knowing this.

    The number of toothpicks on the floor cracked me the hell up.

    I can not wait to read this book.

    • Greg Olear says:

      2008 was the best voter turnout since 1960, with about 63% of registered voters voting. Remember that the overall population also includes children/teenagers, as well as those not registered to vote. I’m sure NPZ exceeded the national average.

      Ah, Rain Man. Don’t get me started…

  25. I like Josh Duhamel to play you in the film.

    No, wait!

    Shia LaBeouf!

  26. You failed to mention your release date is my birthday, which isn’t as important as your book, but gives me an excuse to say I should have been in the numbers. lol.

    The fact that you compiled all these numbers boggles my tiny brain.

    As a father of an Asperger’s kid, I instantly approve of Fathermucker.

  27. Irene Zion says:


    In South Africa we went to a Huguenot town. Statues and everything. It was very, very strange.
    I’m in Maastricht now. We have internet for a change. Is “Fathermucker” out yet? Is it on Kindle?
    If it’s on Kindle, I can download it from here. Otherwise I have to buy it in Dutch. Then I’ll have to learn Dutch before I can read it. It would be better if it were available on Kindle.

    • Greg Olear says:

      Irene, world traveler:

      It is not out until October. It will be available on Kindle long before it’s ever available in Dutch. Write me when you get back.


  28. Aaron Dietz says:

    As a person who identifies all too well with the Asperger-affected, I just always love the numbers. Really this is the way the world is best communicated to me. Lovely post.

  29. Joe Daly says:

    Dude, this was a trip.

    Will there be some sort of contest? “Find All 23 Subtle TNB References” and win a signed copy plus a box of New Paltz’ World Famous Rock Candy?

    Contest or no contest, I’m really looking forward to this read.

    It will be weird not reading you in Europe.

    • Greg Olear says:

      Thanks, Joe.

      Good idea about the contest! Of course I have to figure out exactly how many references there are, and what constitutes one…there’s a character in the book named Joe Paladino…I wanted to name him Joe Daly, as a wink and a nod, but he wound up being kind of a schmuck, so I decided against it.

      How cool that you read TK in Europe! Many more people have done so since you broke the seal, so perhaps the place where you read a book is good luck.

  30. Dana says:

    I’m so excited for you Greg, and I loved the way you set this up. I’m a little frightened about the Josh Duhamel references, given that I don’t know who he is.

  31. […] week, I headed to NYC to perform a series of spoken word shows. Also hung out with TNB compatriots: Greg Olear, Jessica Anya Blau, J.E. Fishman, and Kristen Elde. As amazing as it all was, I couldn’t help but […]

  32. implants dentist…

    […]Greg Olear | Fathermucker By The Numbers | The Nervous Breakdown[…]…

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