PLACING PEYTON
 
 
All-world quarterback Peyton Manning, who missed all of last season with a neck injury, was unceremoniously dumped by his longtime team, the Indianapolis Colts.  Where will Peyton wind up?
 
 
The New York Jets 
An improvement on The Sanchize.
 
 
The NBC Studio 
Can work pre-game show with his old coach, Tony Dungy
 
 
The Romney Ticket 
Like Mitch Daniels, can deliver Indiana.
 
 
Traction 
Dude, you’re 35 freakin’ years old, and you hurt you’re freakin’ neck. Hang up the spikes! After all, there’s a word for the force of fortuitousness that lets you ride off into the sunset gracefully and intact: Luck.
 
 
–GMO

 

 

GREG OLEAR is the Los Angeles Times bestselling author of the novels Totally Killer and Fathermucker and founding editor of The Weeklings.

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