A Year’s Worth of Awesome Life-Affirming Facebook Status Updates from an Illiterate Alcoholic Who Bullied Me Back in Junior HighBy Justin Benton
February 01, 2011
Everyday is a good day! Grab your bottle and raise it! Cheers to everyone!
January 7, 2011 at 3:56 PM
Do rite and kill everything! Merry Christmas to everyone on facebook! Don’t forget to pop those bottles open at midnight tonite for Santa clause! Cheers !!!!
December 24, 2010 at 3:57 PM
30 pack of beer is great, bottle of ghoose is even better, adding a little yager with that and watch newton, and aurban whip ass, is priceless!!!!
December 4, 2010 at 3:47 PM
Happy dead turkey day everyone! Time to get out that bottle of wild turkey and do some shots!!! Cheers!!!!!
November 25, 2010 at 2:47 PM
Yo, 2 years ago, a freind of mine, told me aliza and crystal really blows your mind! Drink early, and get to bed early!! Cheers!
November 13, 2010 at 10:58 AM
Rain, rain, go away, that’s what all my haters say! Always good when you open your fridge and you have one beer left for breakfeast!!!!
November 10, 2010 at 10:38 AM
Dosent matter what day of the week it is, they are all the same when you are half in the bag by noon! Cheers!!!
September 16, 2010 at 1:57 PM
Is it a bad thing when you would rather have a beer for breakfeast, lunch, and dinner instead of food??
August 29, 2010 at 2:23 PM
Always good to open that fridge and grab a cold one, even better to grab 2 or 3 out the fridge after that, sucks when you open it up and they are all gone, it’s priceless when you wake up and that was a dream, I would never run out of beer!!! Ha!
August 3, 2010 at 11:54 PM
Every time you look up in the sky you want to be that star! I say we are all stars in are own way, even if you are down and out, as long as you can look up and see the stars! And yeah I forgot cheers !
July 28, 2010 at 12:36 AM
Rolling down the street smoking endo, sipping on gin and juice, laid back!!!!!
July 22, 2010 at 12:06 AM
We pop champaign cuz were thirsty! ( grey ghoose would be better! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !
July 21, 2010 at 12:10 AM
All day everyday, crack open that cold beer on these hot days and drink them down! Don’t forget the yager behind that! Ha! Txs everyone for the b day wishes! I will be changing to non acholic beers very soon………….
July 20, 2010 at 7:28 PM
Holy shit! Thanks for all the b day wishes everyone! Can’t wait to get off work and have some tea and crackers for my b day! I’m done with drinking! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Maybe for just one more day I will have a couple of beers, then I will be done! Done way too much drinking over the years! Yager bomb anyone? Lol!
July 14, 2010 at 11:56 AM
On vacation from work is great, to be out in the sun all day getting a tan is even better, to fall asleep with your beer in your hand and have a sunburn spot of a beer on your chest is priceless!
July 5, 2010 at 7:32 PM
Better late then ever! Where is all my Boston fans at now? It was a good game, till the lakers did work! 3 peat next year! Any bets yet? Feels like I won the lotto! Was gonna quit drinking, but a 3 peat, I guess 1 more year of drinking! Cheers everyone! Go lakers! Fuck Boston! Whoop whoop!
June 18, 2010 at 3:36 PM
Drinking wiskey out the bottle not thinking bout tomorrow……..
June 14, 2010 at 7:15 PM
JOKE OF THE DAY: Two fleas on a pussy, one is a burgular & the other one is a junkie. HOW CAN YOU TELL THEM APART: The burgular is hiding in the bush & the junkie is sniffing the crack!!!!!!
June 14, 2010 at 4:27 PM
Quote of the day ” drinking non alcholic beer is like going down on your own cousin, it taste the same, but it’s just not right!
June 9, 2010 at 2:29 AM
When you can’t sleep after working too many hours this weekend ! might as well have a shot and a beer to pass out! Don’t forget to reach for the stars! Like biggie said! Go lakers all day!
June 1, 2010 at 1:41 AM
Everytime your glass is half empty, fill it up! Then your glass will always be full! Cheers! Go lakers, whoop whoop!
May 11, 2010 at 3:26 AM
Life is all about a dream! You try to make the best out of it that you can, even when you get confused and don’t know what to do in life! You keep your head up and cheers it up, cause dreams do come true!!
April 22, 2010 at 2:27 AM
Time for the big decesion, what to drink? Dark or clear? Let’s crack the ghoose open and get a little crazy on this fine Sunday! Cheers!!!
April 11, 2010 at 5:40 PM
Still finding beers that the Easter bunny hid! They just seem to pop up! Lol!
April 4, 2010 at 7:40 PM
Time to go to ace and get the stuff to make a beer bong! Easy way to save money! Buy a 6 pack and put it thru the beer bong then pass out! Gonna see if that works!!!!
March 4, 2010 at 2:04 PM
We sip champagne cause were thirsty!
February 13, 2010 at 12:03 PM
99 bottles of beer on the wall,99 bottles of beer,take one down pass it around,98 bottles of beer on the wall! Let’s see how many beers come off the wall today!!
January 23, 2010 at 12:22 PM
Anyone in for some wine tonite? Lol! Only time I can have wine, if the liquar store is closed and there is no more beer!
January 21, 2010 at 12:32 PM
What a great football day! Dallas and chargers both loose! Love it! Might have to jump on the jets bandwagon! Cheers to all those fans that watched your teams loose! Might as well drink away the bad game that they played! Lol! Lol! Whoop whoop!!!
January 17, 2010 at 7:35 PM
Everyone cheers it up for the end of this year and for many more years to live a good life and keep your heads up! Life keeps going on and so do we! This is the sober me, only had 8 beers! Just getting warmed up! Lol! Have a good new years everyone! Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 31, 2009 at 11:25 PM