(based on The New York Times feature)

Sundays start early for Aristotle von Buckingham, the 32-year-old venture capitalist and professional yo-yo master.  He and his girlfriend, Madonna Luxembourg, live in the penthouse of an Upper West Side brownstone with their pet elephant, two and a half children, and a life-size statue of Zach Galifianakis.

UP IN THE MORNING  Our apartment has the original floors and they start creaking at 4 a.m.  So I get up and put a pot of grapefruit juice on the stove and start my day.  If I had a choice, I’d sleep until October, but between the floors and the rooster we keep on the terrace for eggs that never seem to arrive, I really don’t have an option.

JUST A BIT OF WORK  I get some of my most productive venture capitalizing done when my Blackberry is still asleep and the kids are recharging.  It’s really the only time of day I have to myself, so I grab whichever intern I took home from the office and we go through any outstanding issues.  By the time I’ve finished my third or fourth bowl of beef stew, Madonna’s on the toilet, the kids are playing with matches, and I know it’s time to start the day.

BRUNCH AND A RUN  I know this great breakfast spot, and, sure, it’s up in the Hudson Valley, but I take everyone’s order, I get my running shoes on, and before you know it, I’m back with this amazing spread– and it’s great exercise.  We used to home-smoke our own custom-engineered breed of salmon, but sometimes it’s easier to let someone else do the work.

INTO THE RIVER  It’s not Sunday without a swim in the Hudson.  We gather up some of our favorite people, load them into the back of a truck, and don’t stop until we hit water.  It’s an amazing rush, especially in the winter.  We climb out, towel off, I post a couple of new white papers to my blog, and then we go forage for a late lunch.  It’s incredible what you can find roaming the streets of the city with a net and some pepper spray.

A LATE AFTERNOON MATCH  I recently invented a new sport, so we’ve been practicing that.  It’s a combination of hockey and hacky sack– hockeysack– and it’s really catching on, especially in Malaysia.  The added challenge for me is that I don’t use my left hand on Sundays.  Just one day a week, I try to get away from it, and stay in the moment.  We finish up the match, I shower in a public fountain, and then it’s off to church.

CHOOSING MY RELIGION  I started a cult a few years back, so I always make time for them in the late afternoon.  We have our meetings in the basement of the most amazing supper club, so if we get done early, we just head on upstairs and grab a snack for the road.  It’s the best kept secret in the city, next to the treasure buried under almost every branch of the public library system.

CALL THE FOLKS  I like to talk to my parents at least once a year, and usually I do that on Sundays.  And if I can get it done while I’m setting the table, even better.  We like to cook a casual eight-course meal for a few dozen friends, so we grab a few pigeons and– well, Madonna handles most of the cooking while I finish writing my latest young adult romance– this one’s the seventh in my Vampire Nanny series– and then we start the feast.

CURTAIN TIME  I sneak away from dinner in between the fourth and fifth courses to do my nightly cameo on Broadway.  Just a side gig I picked up on the Internet.  The Internet is amazing, really.  I get home, I put on my favorite pair of pajamas– just the top, never the pants– do a little prep for the week, and then we all get into bed, turn the TV around to watch the wires, and fall asleep around 11.

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JEREMY BLACHMAN is a freelance writer and the author of Anonymous Lawyer (Henry Holt), a comedic novel satirizing the world of corporate law. His writing has appeared in McSweeney's, The Wall Street Journal, The New Republic, and on other Internet sites near you. Check out jeremyblachman.com for more, or follow him on Twitter @jeremyblachman.

One response to “Sunday Routine”

  1. ron willins says:

    What the HECK are you talking about?

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