Hello, my name is Joseph Grantham.

You can call me Joey.

Actually, no you can’t.

Call me Joseph.

I am the new Editor-in-Chief of The Nervous Breakdown.

I will tell you about myself.

I work at a pharmacy.

I live in North Carolina but I am not from here.

I wrote a book called Tom Sawyer.

I run a small press with my sister, Mikaela.

My sister started the press.

The press is called Disorder Press.

I’m writing this right now from a computer inside of a pharmacy.

Today I ate an apple inside of my car while I stared at a spinning metal object outside of my car.

I think the metal object had something to do with cotton.

Then I ate some spaghetti.

This happened during my lunch break.

I won’t work at this pharmacy forever.

I won’t be alive forever.

Neither will you.

You will probably never work at a pharmacy.

And if you do, it probably won’t be the pharmacy that I am standing in right now.

But you will most certainly die.

If you’re still reading this I want you to know that it’s going to be okay.

We’re going to create something together.

It’s not that big of a deal.

I know I sound like a camp counselor.

But this is for everyone and it’s going to be fun.

I’m sure it’ll be sad, too.

And maybe even scary.

This will be like life.

It will be like breakfast.

So please send me some of your work.

And if you have an idea, please send me an idea.

And if you have money, well, good for you.

You’re lucky.

I have to go.

Someone is walking through the door.

Someone needs medicine.

I need to sell some drugs.






Joseph Grantham is a writer living in Baltimore. He is the author of Tom Sawyer and Raking Leaves.

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