Please explain what just happened.
I spilled my latte all over an old man sitting too close to me at Starbucks.
What is your earliest memory?
If you weren’t a comedian, what other profession would you choose?
Chef, or maybe farmer.
Describe a typical work day.
Up at 6 a.m. to start doing radio call-ins to promote various shows.
Smoke a toke.
Big bowl of peanut butter Cap ‘N Crunch.
TV watching (usually Real Housewives or Top Chef).
Smoke a Toke.
Is there a time you wish you’d lied?
Of course. Also lots of times I wish I didn’t lie.
What would you say to yourself if you could go back in time and have a conversation with yourself at age thirteen?
Lay off the sugar, kid. And don’t wear those white shorts on field day in 8th grade. No one believes you sat in ketchup.
If you could have only one album to get you through a breakup, what would it be?
Joni Mitchell’s Blue.
What are three websites—other than your email—that you check on a daily basis?
Brownpapertickets.com (checking ticket sales!).
From what or whom do you derive your greatest inspiration?
My dad, probably. He’s super-motivated and always encourages me.
Name three books that have impacted your life.
Notes to Myself – Hugh Prather.
Dance Dance Dance – Haruki Murakami.
On the Road – Jack Kerouac.
If you could relive one moment over and over again, what would it be?
If you could collaborate with any other artist, regardless of genre, who would it be?
Meryl Streep, Carol Burnett or Jane Lynch.
What makes you feel most guilty?
How do you incorporate the work of other artists into your own?
Please explain the motivation/inspiration behind your new CD One Hick Wonder?
It is completely inspired by my crazy small town southern upbringing and my obsession with cheese.
What is the best advice you’ve ever given to someone else?
Stop scratching it.
List your favorite in the following categories: Comedian, Musician, Author, Actor.
Wanda Sykes, Ben Folds, Haruki Murakami, Meryl Streep.
If you had complete creative license and an unlimited budget, what would your next project be?
A one woman show – multi-media, full band, acrobats, and trampolines. Plus, I get to fly like Peter Pan.
What do you want to know?
Who killed JFK? Why is Tara Reid a star?
What would you like your last words to be?
Please explain what will happen.
I’m gonna go home and walk my dog.