August 17, 2020
“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
How do you synthesize what feels like nine lives, consolidate them into one?
Giant-sized puzzles take time to assemble, especially jigsaws with four different
I do plots. Raised in Barbie-Cinderella era, unrealistic narratives
skewed your sense of reality. Grateful for your upbringing, girlhood was cushioned
with advantage: stylish clothing, summer travel, pricey dinners at fancy restaurants.
As if your early story had been written in purple prose. After your father died,
beige replaced purple, perished like winter. Frozen in grief, you opted for new climate.
Mired in make-believe, young adulthood led you to Mexico City, where contrast
offered perspective. Here, you swept carpets with broom, washed clothes
and dishes in makeshift sink, lived sparingly amid abundance of Latin culture.
Like imago, you emerged prematurely from cocoon. For proper development,
wings need stillness, interval. Hurried flight can hinder growth. You’ve childhood
memories of roller coaster, panic, airborne sensations. It’s nearly impossible
to stabilize one’s body with broken lap bar restraint. Perhaps this event
was prophetic in its alarm, for your heart boarded unchecked roller coasters,
where wheels spun on misaligned tracks. Impaired orbits result in whiplash,
muscle tension, and negative g-forces. Yet, the repetition enhanced your courage,
empathy, and positive g-force acceleration, healed any generational transference
of trauma. Grounded in forgiveness and gratitude, like cat, you’ve mastered righting
reflex; like ancient lungfish, you’ve breathed water. Why did you marry all of them?
Are you crazy? Evidently, you’re not neurotypical. Is anyone? Isn’t humanity
mixed bag? Your chaos gave birth to dancing star; after all, the hopeful, idealistic
non-conformist doesn’t abandon the idea of fairy tale endings. Aligned, you ride
smoothly, steer with internal approval, live happily ever after in self-actualization,
for you trust and honor your inner voice. Humankind’s diversity is giant-sized
jigsaw puzzle, where all pieces fit, are created equal. Assembly requires patience,
honesty, and unconditional love.