After three hellish summers in Madrid, I decided to do something different.

I went back home.

Home is Phillipsburg; Ohio, a suburb of a suburb of Dayton, which is famous for the birthplace of aviation (the Wright brothers grew up here), the Dayton Peace Accords (Serb-Croat conflict) and Guided by Voices.

Other than that, the place is basically the post-industrial plains.

After a ten year absence, it didn’t take long to become reacquainted with the demographic.

Though not everyone, it seemed like the average Daytonian likes trucks, Bud Light, shit-kickers, Cornhole, fast cars, Nascars, air conditioning, chain restaurants, George Bush, Wal Mart/Sam’s Club and Harley Davidson.

Kiptobin3a
(my dad with his Harley Davidson Cruiser and Harley Davidson 75th anniversary Ford Truck)

Oh yeah, we can’t forget God.

Dayton is lined with over 10 enormous religious buildings, representing the Christian, Judaic, Islamic and Bahá’í faiths—all of which can be seen from the highway.

My first weekend there I commuted to Columbus to see some friends.

Along the way I saw this sign.

Kiptobin3b

The following two signs listed the 10 commandments, five on each.

Just after, I saw a member of Heaven’s Angels.

Kiptobin3c
(I had to slow down to 55 mph in the fast lane, drive the car with my knee, get the camera on the passenger’s seat, turn it on, turn off the flash and balance it while snapping a photo of this angel cruising and touting his grey-painted cross with the crown of barbed-wire in its center, behind him.)

This was only an hour drive.

Parts of Ohio are pretty significant notches on the belt.

Concurring with my visit was my parents getting ready to sell their house, the one I grew up in.

Nearly all my childhood is located there.

My parents live on five acres that has two barns, an unused football-sized field, ample front and back yards and a modest pond.

As much as I tried to retrieve sacred memories of my childhood in my five weeks there, they simply didn’t come.

There was no windfall of nostalgic innocence or blissful memories.

Nothing stopped me and said, “This is where you came from and this is where you’ll found out where you need to go.”

Overall, all I was able to think of was this place in its own moment, which was in the hellish humidity of August in a warming globe.

Strangely, much of the time I was freezing.

With the humidity averaging 80-90% and the temperature in the mid 90s, I found myself shivering when I sat down to eat a meal in a restaurant, trembling at the grocery store and frigid if I went to a movie.

Due to this, I found a startling conclusion after a little investigation.

The largest source of greenhouse gases is electric power generation.

Air conditioners use around 1/6th of the electricity in the US and on doggishly hot summer days, they can use up to 43% of the peak power load.

So as the environment gets hotter, we’re going to need a lot more air conditioners to keep the indoors cool.

This will, in turn, make the outdoors even hotter.

Most people I know there, my parents included, still don’t seem to think global warming is happening, or at least it isn’t as serious as the worldwide scientific consensus seems to lean toward.

I used to find this a staggering statement of blanket ignorance.

Anymore I just don’t care.

I’ve huffed and warned and whined for years about it and they just shake their heads.

They’ll have “none of it”.

Many of these people still think invadingIraq was a good idea.

But anyway, I didn’t go there to freeze my ass off while indoors.

I went there to get away from the stifling, dry-hell of the Madrileño summer I’d already determined I hated.

I came to get away from being landlocked and breathing stagnant, polluted air.

I came to feel the thunder and watch the lightening crack the horizon during summer storms.

I came to hear bullfrogs crooning and crickets fiddling their constant bows at night, near the pond.

I came to see how the homeland was doing amidst its polarized national psyche and to see how fearful the day-to-day was.

I guess I also came back to see if there was some reason, besides my family and friends, to move back.

But mainly, I came back to help my parents get their house, my childhood, ready to sell.

I power-washed the decks and patios and water-sealed them, mowed lawns, trimmed branches, cut down hundreds of two-inch trees with a brush-cutter, weeded gardens and threw away hundreds of items that my parents were holding onto to see if we want to keep as mementos.

The most difficult task was the pond.

It was covered with duckweed and watermeal.

I had never heard of duckweed and watermeal until August of 06.

Apparently it’s something indigenous to climates common in the Midwest.

Basically, it covers the entire surface of the pond with these little green, seed-like beads.


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It makes the pond look sick.

The environmental irony is that it is actually a sign of an overly fertile pond that, in some ways, is too healthy for its own good.

It does cause problems though.

It can kill fish because it effectively consumes most of the oxygen in the water, rendering it uninhabitable for some aquatic life.

More importantly, it leaves it very aesthetically unappealing for prospective home buyers.

Here I am ingeniously trying to power-wash the surface in order to move the duckweed and watermeal onto the shore where it’s easier to shovel and remove.

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(This failed miserably.)

The only way to remove it is by hand, with nets.

Scoop and throw onto the shore.

After that becomes tiring, get out and shovel it into a wheelbarrow and run it around to a compost heap.

The kicker is that when you return with the wheelbarrow, the displacement of what you remove is immediately replaced by the duckweed and watermeal that is in the rest of the pond, which is very plentiful.

It looks like you’ve done nothing.

The über-kicker is that it flowers daily, but only in the months of July and August.

This happened to be the only time that I was there this summer.

So if you spend 30 minutes removing it, it probably reproduces the same amount by the time you do it the next day.

If you are able to remove it—something that would take a crew of people two full days—then you must put in about 30 Chinese Koi fish to keep it clean because duckweed and watermeal is crack to Koi.

I did this for two weeks.

And for two weeks, it looked like it did on day one.

I call it the pond of Sisyphus.

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KIP TOBIN's real name is Stephen Christopher Tobin, but no one really calls him that, not even his mom. His favorite letter is "i", which is also one his least favorite words; his favorite words tend to include euphonious consonants like Ls and Rs and Ss, such as surly luscious allure. He relocated to middle America last year. He writes fiction and nonfiction but will not tweet. He's currently working on his doctorate in Latin American Literatures and Cultures, studying the intersection of the body, vision and media in contemporary Hispanic Science Fiction . If asked, he will tell you that S. Gautauma pretty much summed 'er all up when he said: All things are transient. Work out your own salvation. He's constantly in that latter process, all the while trying to become as present and aware as he possibly can in this world of simulacra and simulations. You can leave a message on the board here and he will try to get to back with you. His alter ego sometimes posts music mixes on Tip Robin's Mega Maxi Music Mix Mash (tiprobin.blogspot.com), which is unsearchable on the internet and something of a micro, gotta-be-in-the-know phenomenon. He's no longer a part of the social networking revolution. The revolution, it seems, will not be televised but rather streamed, and he hopes he's not watching it. He wishes everyone good luck whenever he can. Good luck.

2 responses to “The Summer of Displacement, Duckweed/Watermeal, God/Harley Overload and My Long-gone Childhood and the Futility in Trying to Recall It”

  1. tip robin says:

    David “Stretch” Rooney
    [email protected] | 68.101.132.173

    El Kip-

    Duckweed and watermeal, like flotsam and jetsum? Very funny! Keep up the good work and keep me posted as to when you are posting new material.

    Are things well? Anything cool going on? Things are very good hear and I hope things are there too – keep me posted….DR

    Kaytie M. Lee
    http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/kaytie_m_lee/ | [email protected] | 72.25.102.20

    I never knew Koi had a purpose other than decorative. Crazy.

    Adam
    [email protected] | 75.34.193.62

    Good read, keep me posted on the posts. Love that you power washed a pond.

    My Little Pony
    66.237.146.226

    Powerwashing a pond? An admirable exercise in futility.

    I can barely mow my very small lawn. Que hueva to clean the shit out of a pond.

    Funny blog.

    Cdog
    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f5/Pin… | [email protected] | 66.63.145.130

    You say tomato I say…
    Mother Nature rebelling against the GOP dominace in Ohio with duckweed and watermeal leading to the decline in real estate all stemming from Jed Bush cheating.

    carlos joey dardon
    [email protected] | 138.202.223.122

    el kip…

    just as expected…you’re either watering
    the plants or yanking them out…however, an interesting parallel illustrated with the point you’ve made here.

    buena obra, compadre.

    -cjd

    Jen Burke
    http://www.alifelessconvenient.com | [email protected] | 71.126.121.23

    I had no idea koi could eat that stuff. I love the power washing idea. A+ for effort and ingenuity. And for this post.

    From The Summer of Displacement, Duckweed/Watermeal, God/Harley Overload and My Long-gone Childhood and the Futility in Trying to Recall It, 2006/10/14 at 11:38 AM

  2. apple ipad future…

    Keep working ,great job!…

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