Please explain what just happened.
I am filming a scene in a supernatural thriller and the ghost made something fall on me. I did my lines perfectly twice in a row.
What is your earliest memory?
My family complaining that I would not wash my own face even though I had been taught how several times. I believe I was about 4 years old at the time. I was mortified.
If you weren’t a comedienne what other profession would you choose?
I think I would be a veterinarian or a high-class prostitute or very high-end drug dealer.
Please describe the current contents of your refrigerator.
I don’t even know and I’m scared to open it. I don’t cook and I never eat at home if I can help it. The fridge has dead stuff. Rotting stuff. Old stuff no one wants or needs. It’s horrible.
What verb best describes you?
What would you say to yourself if you could go back in time and have a conversation with yourself at age thirteen?
Everything is going to be better than alright. Way better than alright.
What are the steps you take to regain your composure?
I go to the guitar and work it out musically. It really works for me.
Living happy. Not needing much more than what you have. Having fun doing it. Whatever it is.
From what or whom do you derive your greatest inspiration?
Jon Brion — he is the very the embodiment of music, in my opinion.
What change do you want to be in the world?
I want to be the change of underwear in the world’s purse.
Are you pro or anti-emoticon? Please explain.
I’m kind of anti-emoticon. Mostly because I don’t know how to make them. Also I prefer words or a photograph to capture what my emotions are.
How are you six degrees from Kevin Bacon?
I was on tour and Kevin Bacon had a show the day before me in Annapolis with his band “The Bacon Brothers” which I thought was so cool. I didn’t know he had a band!!!
What makes you feel most guilty?
Forgetting to put people on the guest list.
Please list three things you never leave home without.
Blackberry, lip balm, weed.
What is the worst piece of advice you’ve ever gotten?
If you like someone, pretend you don’t like them.
What is the best advice you’ve ever given to someone else?
Be so good no one can tell you no.
What do you consider the harshest kind of betrayal?
The kind that happens between women. It’s the worst. You never expect it from women friends, and when it happens it kills me.
Of all the game shows that have graced our TV screens throughout history, which one would you want to be a contestant on and why?
I think it would have to be Jeopardy! I’m pretty good at answering questions with questions.
What do you want to know?
How to play dulcimer. And mandolin. But right now I’ll settle for being a better guitarist.
What would you like your Last Words to be?
I told you I was sick.
Please explain what will happen.
They’re gonna move the lights and go again.