Hey guys,

So, I’ve been brainstorming. Rolling around some ideas for a possible – gawd, this sounds, I don’t know, pretentious? – television script to develop. I’ve been trying to figure out which one (ones?) to more fully flesh out. It’s a little hard to be objective about my own work, especially when the subjects are all quite diverse, and I could really use some outside input. I was hoping if you had a few minutes you could give this a read and then offer some feedback. Let me know if something’s not clear, or you think needs expanding, or tightening. Otherwise, I’m pretty confident one or more of these could be keepers. Following are a few super short synopses. I await your responses!

Me!

THE HALF-TIMERS

I can pitch this show in four sentences:

Former football players.
Working part time.
At a clock store.
Dealing with their mid-life crises.

SONGBIRDS

An a cappella troupe made up of three generations of women in the Nightingale family, and their talking parrot, tour the country in their Buick Skylark (or Pontiac Phoenix, whichever gets better ad sales) singing to people in jail who’ve squealed. Also, the youngest Nightingale, Honey, tweets their adventures. Theme song: Fleetwood Mac’s “Songbird” if we can get it.

EAT IT

Clips of people eating things while wiping out, tripping, falling.
Host: The host of “Good Food with Evan Kleiman” Evan Kleiman.

THE THREE Rs

Ralph, Ricky and Rooster love to rock, roll, and rob banks. Also, they are pirates.

ENEMIES

Six twenty-something characters, three men, three women, live apart and don’t interact because they hate each other.

TOUCH ME — will also consider (DON’T) TOUCH ME

Contestants vie to create the most emotionally moving moment without invading the personal space of their judges.

WHERE ARE MY KEYS?

Our hero, Stan, an elderly, habitual drunk driver searches for his keys while his family looks on knowingly. Opening title shot of eldest daughter, Pam, holding keys out with her index finger and thumb winking at camera. (I see this going a minimum of five seasons, guaranteeing syndication, and possibly a tie in with any number of alcohol companies especially if we promise product placement.) Theme song: anything by Alicia Keys.

FAN TAN TIQUE!

Vietnamese émigré Fan Tan Tiq achieves the American dream and opens a tanning boutique in Encino, California. (I see Teri Hatcher making a guest appearance. Possibly when she wanders in accidentally to buy a fan because it’s super hot in the valley.)

I’m also trying to corral the following ideas (and many more!) into shape:

BOOBS
SHHH, I’M TRYING TO HEAR WHAT THEY’RE SAYING (THE EAVESDROP SHOW)
DR. CANNONBALL GOES SPLAT
THE BIBLE: THE MUSICAL (PARTS 1, 2, & 3)

Thanks so much for reading. See you on the comment boards!
(And also, more than likely, on your TV screens this fall — fingers crossed!)

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RACHEL POLLON was born and bred in Los Angeles, California. Her working life has consisted of stints as a writers' assistant on Frasier, and as a writers assistant on shows starring John Stamos and Pamela Anderson. Not together. But you never know what the future will bring. She also spent some time in the music business, working with an array of terrific and talented musicians, and script supervised a tour for a legendary musical icon/actress/director/funny girl. Rachel thinks dropping names is unbecoming (with the exception of John and Pam) and is hopeful that in time what she's got to say will be more interesting than who she proofed scripts for. She's done some writing for the world wide web. And her essay "Change For A Ten" appeared in the book THE BEAUTIFUL ANTHOLOGY. This picture is a few years old but she's pretty uncomfortable in front of a camera so she's not going to bother updating it right now. That's her dog Theo. He looks about the same.

17 responses to “Working Title: May I Pitch You Just a Few of My TV Show Ideas?”

  1. Phat B says:

    Definitely Enemies and Dr. Cannonball Goes Splat. I wrote a pilot for a class once. Forget what I called it but the gag was reverse Gilligan’s island. Some kids Grandma dies and he inherits her mansion in the hollywood hills, right next door to the playboy mansion. So he moves in with all his college buddies and every episode, instead of trying to get off the island, they try to get into the playboy mansion. And every episode Gilligan fucks it up. They have a chubby head of security that’s their main foil who looks like the Skipper. A chopper didn’t drop out of the sky and shower me with cocaine so I figured it was no good (that’s how TV shows get picked up, right? Cocaine chopper?)

  2. hank cherry says:

    One of my favorite parts of watching your show the Three R’s is when they rent a priate shaped aquamobile and rampage in the waters off of manhattan, rapping, ripping, removing their clothes. One of ’em, I can’t remember which, kept saying, these are international waters when they were being (a)rrested.

    Eat it has a subplot to, right? A spin-off recovery themed show? I know it does!!!!!

    • Rachel Pollon says:

      The Three Rs know how to have a good time. Also, I’m realizing Weird Al’s “Eat It” would need to be the theme song.

  3. Seth Pollins says:

    I believe a few of these will work, Rachel. If possible, I would like to collaborate on “Boobs.”

    Funny stuff. I laughed out loud at “Enemies.”

    Also, I used to own a Pontiac Phoenix. Do they still make those? Mine was epically dysfunctional, just downright dangerous.

    • Rachel Pollon says:

      People are being awfully helpful with and encouraging about Boobs. I’m glad you liked Enemies. I don’t know the status of a 2013 Pontiac Phoenix but I think an old broken down and dangerous one would add a lot of dimension to the show.

  4. A.J. Weiner says:

    As usual, you made my day… and it was free! Yippee! I think they’re all good to go, except – and it looks like I’m going to disagree with Seth (comment above) – ENEMIES. That sounds unfocused, disconnected and full of hate. Thumbs down. Since Seth and I are coming from different directions it feels like the three of us would make a good collaborative team. So I would also like to throw my hat in the ring to see if I can lend a helping hand or two with “Boobs.”

    • Rachel Pollon says:

      Aw, I’m so glad you liked! Re: Enemies, you, Seth, and I should probably get in a room together ASAP and ignore each other. I’m very encouraged about Boobs. Will you be less interested if I tell you I wasn’t referring to lady parts but rather a dumb fellow? 😉

  5. Jim Simpson says:

    Thanks, Rachel, I needed this! Looks as though ENEMIES (my personal “fave” — did I really just use that word? seems suitable for the subject matter at hand — did I just write “subject matter at hand”? — sorry) could be a hit. I’d watch it.

    Are there still clock stores?

  6. Rygalski says:

    Super Funny!

  7. Robin Seibert says:

    Loved Enemies, I think I starred in that somewhere in my childhood, only then it was Families.

    Funny stuff, for the Boobs show you could use one of my memories of Los Angeles. While waiting for a table at some hip Italian restaurant on Labrea, I walked up to a woman whose cleavage was quite deep. “I like your breasts,” I said to her, she replied with a big smile, “thank you.” I think she must have felt the investment paid off when a plain jane like myself was impressed!

    • Rachel Pollon says:

      Ha, Robin! I love all of that. Enemies and Boobs seem to be the front runners. There’s got to be a way to combine them into one perfect storm of a show. Something like “Enemy Boobs” — with the tag line: “Look away, they’re a trap!” Or at the very least center it around a character named Honey BoobBoob.

  8. Lloydhorst says:

    Why can’t I push something on this page to recommend it on fb? P.s. there is already a show on about women making making bras for ladies with huge tatas. I hope that if that’s your idea for Boobs that you registered it with the WGA and you litigate. –Ems

    • Rachel Pollon says:

      XO! Is that Double D Divas or something? I am confident my Boobs would be a more nuanced and penetrating exploration. 😉

      And P.S. It’s a little convoluted but you can post to FB directly from the piece when you see it in synopsis form.
      Go here, scroll down midway…

      http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/page/2/

      Or you can just copy and paste the link above. Oh my gosh, I know you want to do this so badly! Upgrades are coming to the site soon so perhaps this sitchie will be fixed then.

      P.S.S. Boobs!

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