1.1299495934.the-famous-object-i-found-on-the-road-a-dildo

I was driving to Adelanto listening to some comedy radio show. There’s nothing in Adelanto. At least nothing anybody wants. Just a collection of old cracked streets and faded one-story businesses. The people on the radio show were asking the audience:  What would people find in your drawers if you died unexpectedly? Your closet? They weren’t interested in the collection of Christmas sweaters or the stacks of family albums—they were interested in the dirty things, the things you don’t want anybody to see or know about. The naked pictures. The sex toys. The raunchy.

What is the most horrifying smell that you’ve encountered from porn?

The smell of a vagina with vaginitis is the worst ever.  On the set of a lesbian gangbang movie in 2006, a smoking-hot girl opened her legs to get pummeled with gigantic, double ended, black dildos.  Her fellow performers plugged her holes up, airtight.  When the anaconda-like devices came out, it was like breaking a vacuum seal.  Rotten fish garbage steamed out of her. I turned my head and died for her inside.  Too much going back and forth ass to pussy had created the stench.  But she was still fucking beautiful.

 

What makes you happy?

Swearing always makes me smile.  I laugh when I hear and get overjoyed when I read any nasty language.  Maybe it has something to do with a hot sauce and spicy food fetish.  I love the burning sensation and shock in my mouth and in my throat.  If my eyes aren’t watering, it’s not strong enough.  Cussing, in my opinion, can never be overused.  It’s just not for everyone though, and I wish it could be.  Some people’s digestion just can’t handle it.  But it should still be respected.


Who do you love?

I love my husband the most, then artists and whores.  We both love artists and whores.  He may love them more than me even, because he married both.


What disgusts you?

Being a bore is absolutely sickening to me.  I can’t stand it when people brag about being boring or normal.  I can’t stand bragging either.  Unless it’s in a completely ghetto way, then it’s funny.  And that is the highest honor, making someone laugh.


Are you a feminist?

No.

 

What made you think you could write a book?

I didn’t think I could.  The only thing I’ve really done is porn, and most people think porn stars are morons that can’t even read.  Going into writing Girlvert, I had no confidence, just one crazy story at a time.  I knew it would be interesting, and entertaining, but unsure if I was a good enough writer.  Accepting and believing the praise was difficult.  I thought that everyone was just being nice to me for a long time.  Then the book was published and in my hands, and awesome!


What now?  What next?

Right now, I am devoted to Girlvert.  My entire life has changed because of it already.  The porn star is fading out and the writer is born.   It’s a much more grown-up job, with different responsibilities.  I’d like to avoid being censored as much as possible.  My next book is in the works with my publisher.  But there is a lot of real work to be done as a writer.  And I also haven’t quit being an artist…or a whore.  That is the permanent foundation for all my creative energy at the moment.