If you like to read non-fiction by snarky, middle-aged male journalists, you’re likely already familiar with that particular twenty-first century character quirk in which Specialized Trivia is king of the castle. I’m talking about music and the people you know who rave about Teenage Fanclub bootlegs or Bob Dylan bootleg bootlegs and spare no scorn for FM Radio. I’m talking about Trekkies. I’m talking about film students and career comedians and collectors of many kinds. I’m even talking about sports fanatics, but I mean the kind who can spout off specific plays in specific games which specifically occurred in the year 1966. Really, I’m talking about pop culture at large, and the people who believe that one media above all others is either the most practical or the most worthwhile way to be a human in the world interacting with other humans. But, to distill: I’m not talking about everybody who just really likes some genre of something. I’m talking about those friends–and you know them, in your life–who will scarcely leave their own dork corner in a conversation, and may judge you inadvertently for not knowing as much about their Thing as they deem suitable. You know–insufferable snobs (IS’).

So you’re thinking about buying a scooter? Smart move. You’re not? You should. They’re cheap to buy, cheap to run and cheap to insure. Scooters can be parked almost anywhere, and almost always for free. They are, however, legally considered a motorcycle, just like a powerful sport bike or a big fat cruiser. The three types couldn’t be further apart in terms of looks and performance. That’s obvious. What isn’t obvious is the difference in social implications. If you’re going to get a scooter and ride on roads alongside whining Ninjas and thundering Harleys, you need to be prepared. Prepare to be prepared.