You’ve begun to feel like some neurasthenic Joan Didion character. Only without the shiny coating of beauty and glamour.
Increasingly, you have nothing to say. You are, distressingly, empty. Empty and blank and tired and done. Just…done.
All you’ve ever wanted is to make everyone happy. Now, you make no one happy. You are nothing.
You listen to Azure Ray and cry, hating yourself and slicing up your arms with razor blades.
In The Bell Jar, you think, Esther got that plum internship. Where’s your fucking prize?
You exist. Just barely.