Please explain what just happened.

I just got up and started to make coffee and noticed that I ran out of coffee filters.  I devised a makeshift coffee filter with a paper towel, which FYI, does not work.  I ended up spilling scalding hot coffee and coffee grounds all of over my underwear, legs, counter, and floor.  I cleaned it up and then emptied out  a tea bag and put coffee inside, and now I’m waiting for the coffee to steep, all because I am too lazy to walk out of my fifth floor walk-up to go buy coffee filters.

Please explain what just happened.

I was once again discussing with my wife the fact that more and more I lean towards believing in the existence of aliens. Especially in religion. I think that I’ve been watching that Ancient Aliens show too much. She’s not a believer and the look on her face tells me that she probably thinks I’m joking.

 

What is your earliest memory?

I would sit on a little rocking chair that my paternal grandfather made for me.  My mom and I would sit by the door to wait for my father to come home from work. My parents separated when I was about five so this must have been earlier than that.

Please explain what just happened.

I just read a bunch of these other interviews and realized I wasn’t going to be half as funny as Anthony Camera. So instead I have to try the honesty route and hope it works out.

What is your earliest memory?

I have this memory of a room where every wall is a different pastel color. Outside a window there is a pigeon cooing. I recently asked my mom what house this was and she kind of freaked out because we moved out of that house when I was only 6 months old.

Please explain what just happened.

I farted.

What is your earliest memory?

Sticking a rock up my nose when I was about four years old.   My mother had to take me to the emergency room to have it removed.  The doctor gave me a sucker.  I was thrilled.

If you weren’t an artist, what other profession would you choose?

If I was not an artist I would probably … ummmm… like being a farmer maybe?  A crop farmer.  Not one who had to slaughter animals.  Maybe soy beans. Yeah. A soy bean farmer. Or corn.

 

Please explain what just happened.

I’ve been trying to figure that out for years.

 

What is your earliest memory?

Looking at my brother’s tricycle on top of our very steep driveway and thinking, “If he can do it, I can do it.” What I don’t remember, though, is getting on the tricycle, flying down the driveway and ending up in the hospital with a bunch of stitches in my forehead.