Not long ago, some bozo rear-ended my wife. He wasn’t going fast enough to injure her, but he was driving a pickup, and his bumper sailed over the bumper of our sedan and caved in the trunk and one of the quarter-panels. It caused more damage than the value of the car, and when the insurance adjuster left us a voicemail with news of the appraisal, he described it as a “total loss.” Then at the end of the message he said, “Have a great day.”

In my left hand is a partially full cup of coffee that was purchased from self-service coffee machine at one of the Franklin County Department of Jobs and Family Services offices.

It reads:

AVI’s pursuit of the world’s best tasting cup of coffee took us to South America’s premier coffee plantations where the world’s highest quality Arabica coffee beans are grown in sunbathed splendor and nurtured by gentle tropical rains.

Today this treasure is yours, as our Arabica coffee beans are roasted to excellence, bursting with flavour, then freshly ground and brewed for each cup of coffee.

There isn’t a fresher, richer, more robust, full-bodied and better-tasting cup of coffee anywhere.