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Your Excellency,

First, congratulations. As the Administrator for the Vatican Secret Archives, you have one of the best job titles imaginable. Seriously, that is a comic book name.

Now I know that the Vatican’s Secret Archives aren’t secret in the common sense of the word, but almost no one knows that, so you might as well run with it. I mean, you’re already subject to so many horrible rumors and conspiracy theories anyway, what with the Illuminati and Dan Brown and the Knights Templar. So you might as well have some fun with it.

So, the Vatican’s kind of in trouble, and the Pope might be getting arrested, and then on CNN, Catholicism’s top exorcist pitched in on the issue.

And I read the phrase ‘Top Catholic exorcist’ and thought:

1. Oh, shit! I’ve got that guy’s book!

2. There’s enough of a ranking system in exorcist circles that this guy can be called a ‘top’ exorcist?

3. This is the stuff that Feed posts are made of.