Awhile back, we held a contest concerning a caption for a cool photo.

In our infinite wisdom, we said we’d announce the winner in one week, but we sort of forgot about, you know, Christmas and New Year’s and all that.  Plus, there was quite a bit of debate about who should receive the Grand Prize: an appearance on Oprah and a new car an inscribed copy of Subversia, plus a personal note from D.R. Haney.

We would like to apologize for taking so long.  Really, it’s like we were Congress.

We’d also like to thank everyone who took the time to enter the contest.  There were a number of really great entries, and, if we were to adopt the attitude of Shel Silverstein in “Hug O’ War,” we would send prizes to all.  However, we remain vested in the idea of glory, so there’s only one winner.

Without further ado, here she is:


“The original lap top” – Justin Benton


“Feed your head” – Zara Potts


“Subversia™ gave me the slim, toned thighs I’ve always wanted! Thanks, Subversia™!” – Steve Sparshott


“A collection of true stories with legs” – Tammy Allen

“Go ahead, take a peek” – Debb


“Click here to see more” – Dogboi


And the winner is…


“Have you seen my head?” – Tammy Allen


Congratulations, Tammy!  And again, our heartfelt thanks to everyone who entered.

…all of you.  You are all winners.  Just, you know, not of the Totally Killer/TNB/Facebook contest.  There’s only one winner where that is concerned.  Actually, there are three.

But before I make that dramatic announcement, I’d like to introduce the president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, Mr. Jack Valenti.

[cue:reluctant applause]

Just kidding.

Instead, let’s take a moment to look at the most totally killer — the totally killerest? — photo of the 1991 batch.  This is my friend Ruth, who is probably the last person you’d expect to see photographed packing this kind of heat: