mika is looking at a plastic bag, is that a cat? she wonders, i hope she’s friendly, i just love petting things so much, i don’t know why i do, oh, nevermind

at home, she ignores the phone and thinks that it’s really funny, i can’t believe it, she buckles under her laughter, it’s still ringing, oh my god, ha ha ha, she laughs, why…won’t….it…stop…buzzing?

later, she eats two things and gives the third away before falling asleep

she reads her transaction history in the park and thinks she’s gay for the first time but later forgets and walks down the sidewalk where many men tell her that her shoes are untied and she says thank you to all of them

she goes home to sleep and falls asleep and wakes up and cries in the shower because of a thing that happened she hasn’t told anyone about, then interacts with strangers in a video chatroom until it’s dark outside

she smokes weed, looking out the window at her boring life and it seems okay even though she feels bad about it

her mom emails her five unintelligible words before gmail crashes from a geomagnetic storm over alaska and mika is high and still feels bad but now thinks it’s funny

now mika is alone, smiling in public and with others while listening to a man try to convince a depressed person that she does in fact have friends that care about her

what gives him the right to tell her she has friends? mika thinks but keeps it to herself

now mika is high on 2cb, and she feels like she’s talking to god on the beach, yes, yes! hi, hi god, you son of a bitch, she’s smiling, you piece of shit god, i love you so much

whenever mika uses the internet she wonders why so many people are mean and dumb, then shares a meme that only gets three likes

mika, present and feeling vague and relatable in between the fluttering of moments around noon most days, without a plan and no reason to think about the near to distant future, is aware that this is her life and happy to induce faith whenever in absence of knowing, to love whenever in absence of pleasure

 

 

Theo Thimo is a gender neutral albanian immigrant who makes $14,000 a year in NYC.

One response to “Life Problem”

  1. Charred says:

    My son loves alternative literature.

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