Why can’t I stop reading about this crazy lady? Cultural appropriation is a contested activity in the U.S., especially in the realms of artistry, but cultural theft committed with the purpose of gaining access to positions or institutional power is more insidious. This is what Dolezal did. Currently winning the Internet: #AskRachel I totally believe in the idea of being an ally but I’m pretty certain this is not the way to go about it. I wanna talk about this game we’re about to lose but this Rachel Dolezal story is way mo better. And so so frightening. Please don’t use Rachel Dolezal as an excuse to be ignorant toward light skinned and mixed folks. It’s not cute, too expected, and just plain gross. Wow. She went to Howard University on a full scholarship! That takes some kind of gall. The right wing is running with this story. My questions is, how did she get this far without anyone finding this out? What the…? Y’all may say she’s crazy, but I think if we would use people like her like white folk have been using the Clarence Thomases, Don Lemons, Stacey Dashes & nem for centuries, we might turn the tide. I just laughed tears. “Are you African American?” “I don’t understand the question.” She was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not ready for the last question…nor the picture of her Dad. OMG, I just can’t with this….WTF???????? She said the first African hairstyle is seen in the Venus of Willendorf…. Her family is like, “Girl, you’re from Whiteville, not Black Town.” 

When Rush Limbaugh is seemingly in agreement with some of my most admired scholarly friends, my head explodes. Meh…I was going to write a status message about Rachel Dolezal but decided I truly could not care less about that PAWN (punk ass white nigga). So, I’ll go silent. Transracial adoption Is a real. Transracial, as it is being currently used to describe this situation is not a thing- but blackface is. Cray to the WTF power If Rachel Dolezal cleaned her house to Al Green, I just might be convinced to keep her in the race. Rachel Dolezal is Eminem is Sam Smith is all the people in this video _______ She ain’t new. & beware the “black.” It’s contagious; it’ll get up all in your soul & have you throwin’ bows & fists in the air … & twerkin’ & marchin’ & makin’ you feel all free to do anything anyhow, too! What you DON’T know about Rachel Dolezal is that she was THIS close to getting the role of Nina Simone. But alas… When #RachelDolezal was asked to pick her favorite African country, she picked the country of Idris Elba. We all should have known then. From Kale to Collard Greens…and Black…The Rachel Dolezal Story. #RachelDolezal just responded…and still doesn’t get it…and says “other” folks don’t get it. This is fantastic. I dreamed that I adopted a baby from Rachel Dolezal and then had to smuggle that baby through an elaborate gauntlet of zip-lining over crevasses and hot-stepping through geysers and riding mine shaft dollies to the edge of the Earth. But at some point I was also on flight to Malibu and knocking on the cockpit door, yelling that there was no airport big enough for a commercial flight to land in Malibu. #unpackthat #postmoderngameofthronesuniverse #caitlynjennereffectonthesubconscious #blacktwitterbeforebed I look forward too the day when people are no longer judged by the color of their skin. Sound familiar? It’s not supposed to be funny but I can’t stop laughing at her photos. #RachelDolezal is the Edward Snowden of the Black Community. We’ve gotta see what secrets she puts out on Wikileaks. If she give away the fried chicken recipe, I’d advise her to leave the country. SOMEBODY COME POST A GIF THAT WILL PROPERLY PORTRAY MY FEELINGS. See what some self-tanning lotion, extensions, and a career filled with lies can get you? This story is mesmerizing. I can’t get enough of it. Can we talk about the fact that Rachel Dolezal looks like Raven Symone? Can we talk about how I prefer Rachel over Raven? #lol #FACTS MY HEAD NEEDS DUCT TAPE. IT EXPLODED. But if race is a social construct, like gender, is she “posing,” or is she self-identifying?  The one thing I was waiting for, #askrachel about that hair tho. How you get it to do that tho? Breaking news: Emma Stone has just signed on to star in the Rachel Dolezal biopic! She is not pretending. She is transitioning. Is Rachel Dolezal going to be the first public transracial? i.e. she’s in a Caucasian body but she identifies as and feels she is black? Paul Mooney said “everybody wanna be a nigga, but don’t nobody wanna be a nigga.” Then Rachel Dolezal came along and changed the game. If Rachel Dolezal can be black, I can sure as f be a Teen WTF is going on here? The “personal” (not social) construction of race? #RachelDolezal is the first to break the rule: Apparently, once you go black, you CAN go back. First, I don’t think race is so cut and dry. Genetically, we’re all the same race. What I see people identifying as race is social construct. It’s culture and history. So why can’t I identify as a culture I feel more sympatico with? If the NAACP is calling it ‘no harm, no foul’, who am I to argue? Also, her hair looks amazing this way. #RachelDolezal should have just yelled, “Wu Tang!” at the interviewer, and THEN bounced. Eminem, Justin Timberlake, and myself quietly watching how this whole Rachel Dolezal thing plays out… That NAACP lady has us suspicious of the beige people Pretend to be black and there is international media furor. Claim vague Native ancestry and no one bats an eyelash. PLEASE no more posts on Rachel Dolezal!!!! She was merely appropriating! I totally knew she was a Conceptual Poet. I mean, painter. 

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WENDY CHIN-TANNER is the author of Turn (Sibling Rivalry Press, 2014), which was a finalist for the Oregon Book Awards, and co-author of American Terrorist (A Wave Blue World). Her poetry has been nominated for The Best of the Net Prize and the Pushcart Prize, and has been published at The Rumpus, Vinyl Poetry, Denver Quarterly, The Huffington Post, RHINO Poetry, The Normal School, The Mays Anthology of Oxford and Cambridge, and elsewhere. She is a founding editor at Kin Poetry Journal, poetry editor at The Nervous Breakdown, staff interviewer at Lantern Review, and co-founder of A Wave Blue World.

One response to “APPROPRIATING MY FACEBOOK FEED ON THE TOPIC OF RACHEL DOLEZAL APPROPRIATING BLACKNESS: A CONPO REAPPROPRIATION IN REAL TIME”

  1. Peter Winkler says:

    If this is a poem then Auschwitz was a health spa.

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