Next Week: Chris Christie busted for steroids–the inside story.

Next Week: How to shrug off a legitimate stabbing.

Next Week: even more important changes in Level of Suck terminology

Next Week: Spin-off column "This Week's Magnitude of Gargle" debuts


Next Week: While in 3-D, Katy Perry discovers the Fifth Dimension. Which turns out to to be playing a few gigs in a Toledo dive bar.

Next Week: Scientology teaches you how to suck just a little bit less.

Next Week: Sudsy tub full of hot water and bath salts turns out not to have been on bath salts.

Next Week: Worldwide biosphere collapse, huge run on artificial lung apps.

In her 2005 book, Female Chauvinist Pigs, Ariel Levy argues that women have been duped into embracing “raunch” culture, wherein women and girls objectify themselves and other women in crude, sophomoric ways. Levy argues that “raunch” culture pretends to be about women liberating themselves, but is really about keeping women in their place as objects for the male gaze.

In recent years we’ve seen a similar trend, where women have been encouraged to buy into “asshole” culture. While some may argue that we have always tolerated certain types of male bad behavior, it seems there has been a cultural shift in recent years where we actually applaud watching male characters behave like jerks.


Next Week: President Obama says “Also, I decree heroin totally legal. And free! Nowwhoyagonnavotefor?”


Next Week: Ray Bradbury says “fuck your Facebook post about me.”

1. Both Charlie’s Angels and the Manson girls were guided by mysterious older men named—you know.

2. Charles Townsend, a.k.a. Charlie of Charlie’s Angels, was a de-facto pimp with an apparent harem of young women other than his trio of gun-wielding detectives; Charlie Manson, a.k.a. Jesus Christ, was a convicted pimp with a documented harem of young women other than his trio of knife-wielding assassins.

3. Charlie’s Angels were observed communicating with Charles Townsend via the telephone; Charlie Manson was said to communicate with his girls via telepathy.

4. In the field, as it were, Charlie’s Angels worked alongside Charles Townsend’s male proxy, an ostensible eunuch named Bosley; the Manson girls, in the field, worked alongside Manson’s male proxy, Tex Watson, who, though not a eunuch, strikingly favored the eunuchlike Mr. Spock.

Grading the last seven days in End Times culture…


Next week: Nadya Suleman

Grading the last seven days in End Times culture…


Spackler’s Hackles by E. Whittington Ashley ($22.95, Scribner)

Undeniably one of the blockbuster hits of the year, full of disparate yet wonderfully rendered characters like Cambodian refugees and the Hungarian Mafia, evangelicals and gay rehab counselors, not to mention evangelicals in gay rehab, cheesy boyfriends and drunk bookworms. Dmitri Spackler is a protagonist for the new millennium: a savvy mix of Leopold Bloom and Jay Gatsby, with a touch of Hank Chinaski thrown in for good measure. The prose is incisive, contemporary, and full of wisdom, while simultaneously confronting the near-future with an ironic and heuristic eye. Simply put, this wonderful book stretches the boundaries of the imagination way past boundaries I had previously imagined.