Al and Tipper Gore announced their break up, “a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together.” Here are ten reasons why I think they should reconsider.

10. A few years ago, Al bought Tipper a 1967 Mustang for Valentine’s Day.

9. They fell in love at the prom.

8. These are the most romantic words I know: Grow old with me.

7. Ten years ago, daughter Karenna described her parents as ‘mysteries to each other.’

6. You can get divorced, but when you wake up in the morning you are still the same person.

5. Will Al be able to find someone else, “who really understands rock music”?

4. They have made 40 years worth of “mutual and mutually supportive decisions”.

3. Life is short.

2. The Clinton’s will outlast them?

1. If this isn’t love, what is?

TAGS: , , , ,

CLAIRE CAMERON's first novel, The Line Painter, was published in 2007 by HarperCollins Canada. Her work has recently appeared in The New York Times, The Globe and Mail and on The Rumpus. You can find her at www.claire-cameron.com.

49 responses to “Ten Reasons Why Al and Tipper Gore Should Reconsider”

  1. Jude says:

    Oh yuck! That kiss looks obscene! Tipper doesn’t really look like she’s enjoying it. In fact it looks like a ‘rape’ kiss!

  2. Jim says:

    They stopped thinking about tomorrow.

  3. Becky says:

    Thoughts:

    That kiss is so awkward, it’s painful.

    Holy hell.

    How did they even manage to procreate?

    Hey, Al Gore was a nice-looking man. I’d hit it.

  4. Zara Potts says:

    I’d kiss anyone with the name Tipper. And I’d kiss them just like smoochy Al is doing in this pic.

    • Greg Olear says:

      The name always makes me think of cow-tipping.

      And the warning labels crusade was ridiculous.

      • You Greg, of all people, will enjoy the entire quote from No. 5, “I was one of the earliest Bruce Springsteen fans. I played the drums in high school. You’re talking to someone who truly understands rock music.”

      • reno says:

        i always thought those warning labels SOLD records. lame. zappa is laughing his dead ass off as i write!

        stinkfoot…

  5. Jordan Ancel says:

    It really is too bad. 40 years is a looooong time to be with someone only to decide things just aren’t working out.

  6. To add one more to the list: Because Frank Zappa and John Denver said suck it up and stick it out.

    Though still alive, Dee Snider could not be reached for immediate comment.

  7. Rene says:

    You said it in #3 — Life is short. Why spend it in a relationship that you feel is over? Odds are one of the reasons that they stayed together so long is because they were in the public eye. None of us knows what the real story of the relationship was, only what was shown publically. . .I applaud them for making a decision that may have been difficult. . .but, perhaps, one that is best for the both of them.

  8. Kerry Cohen says:

    Personally I love that they said it was a “mutual and mutually supportive decision.” That to me is still real love. It’s what I have with my soon-to-be-ex too. We aren’t romantic anymore, we were’t giving one another what we needed in those ways anymore, so we agreed lovingly to move on. He’s still one of my closest friends.

    @Becky: Al in that picture in the woods? I’d hit that too

  9. Greg Olear says:

    Even though the majority of Americans would prefer them to remain together, they have to get divorced because the high court said so. Something to do with Tipper hanging with Chad.

  10. Richard Cox says:

    I knew they weren’t a match ever since seeing this clip on SNL. Expand the YouTube window and watch the picture-in-picture carefully. Hahaha.

  11. jonathan evison says:

    . . . hooray! claire is back!

  12. Joe Daly says:

    Somewhere in Los Angeles, Blackie Lawless is cackling incessantly.

    That picture of the kiss at the end is amazing. I feel like someone needs to call the police.

    Fun read! Had no idea about the car or the prom. Now that they know how to move apart, let’s hope they learn how to move on.

  13. Mary Richert says:

    Gosh, I dunno. I am sorry to see any seemingly healthy relationship end, but then who am I to judge. I’ve always hoped that should my husband and I grow apart we will both have the wisdom to do what is best for ourselves and each other. I don’t think a separation has ever made a couple look as *good* as this before. I’ve never before heard a couple was splitting up and thought, “Jeeze they are really classy. What a good couple for doing it this way…”

  14. Carl D'Agostino says:

    They should have lived together a few months first to see if would work instead of wasting 40 years.

  15. Jessica Blau says:

    I love the old pictures of them. THey looks so sweet and hopeful. The picture with Bon Jovi depresses me. Al looks awful. Is this what old age does, or depression, or? He doesn’t look well.

  16. Ben Loory says:

    he should’ve divorced her years ago, before she cost him the presidential election. every metalhead in the country voted against him cuz of her. or at least stayed home to listen to twisted sister and do bong hits.

    • reno says:

      we did. what’s wrong with dry-ice machines, spikes, spandex, and devil lyrics? fuck. he’s an asshole. and she is too. the metal gods got their last laugh. they’re dead and maiden still plays sold out concerts.

      even those hacks poison can turn a buck playing that, that, that, silly crap they dished out to us.

      • Ben Loory says:

        what do you mean “us,” man? i drew the line at cinderella.

        • Richard Cox says:

          We didn’t know what we had ’till it was gone.

        • Becky says:

          Cinderella was my favorite. I won a Cinderella hatband at a carnival throwing darts at balloons. I CHOSE the hat band. I had no hat.

          In my defense, I was also about 10 years old. I also won a mirror with their picture on it. WTF is a person going to do with a mirror with a picture covering it??????????

        • Richard Cox says:

          It’s the carnival, Becky. Those people don’t want to know what they look like.

        • Becky says:

          Touche, Richard. Touche.

        • reno says:

          ben-

          sorry. “us” as a whole. even the fuckers that were listening to depeche mode. i hated poison AND cinderella. we used to beat up them fuckers that cranked that hair band vagina stuff. hear me, ben! hear me! it was slayer back then. metallica. maiden. sabbath. dio. right. see you in hollywood, sir. we have some chatting to do…

          nobody’s fool,
          r

  17. I understand 2 Live Crew just flew Tipper down to Miami for a week-long pool party/Cristal bath. A spokesman for the band quotes a giddy Luther Campbell as saying “That shit is finally in play, and I’m gonna snap off a piece!”

    No word on Al’s boozy late night calls to Christine McVie.

    Actually, Tipper sold more albums for 2 Live than even marginally competent rhyming abilities might have. They owe her big time.

  18. reno says:

    i was in the throes of heavy metal madness when tipper was throwing blows with heavy rock music. looking back it’s freakin’ heeelarious and goofy. well, it was heeelarious and goofy back then, but now it seems comical. anyhow…

    too bad they didn’t make it. i guess all things come to an end. wow, how genius of me!

    • Did you have big hair?

      • reno says:

        claire-

        hello and nooooooo. i did sport a small crop-top and a wee mullet. but nothing serious. i never liked the mullet but had a batch of friends that had the nastiest mullets to ever tread this earth. gawd, those were the days…

        bye, claire. thanks for the read.

        r

  19. angela says:

    wow, al gore was smokin!

  20. Simon Smithson says:

    That bottom photo in the three-photo-photo-booth-collage?

    They should stay together forever just because of how they look in that photo.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *