LEAD GUITARIST WANTED for local Land O Lakes rawk band. Male or female, 18 – 50. MUST BE NUDE. All original music, which means the vocalist would have to be able to collaborate and work out their vocal harmonies. Looking to add keys, and eventually horns and other nude people down the road. Contact Lenny V. at X1113
DRUMMER AND FIDDLER NEEDED I started a fun country band and am looking for a drummer and a fiddler who are serious about music and serious about playing music naked. We will be writing our own material but will also be performing some popular covers. Think George Strait meets naked Dolly Parton. Call Lenny V. at X1113
PRO METAL VOCALIST wanted!!! Music for our first album already recorded, working with great Kissimmee producer. Need an experienced, killer, melodic, nude vocalist with a unique/versatile sound who owns his or her own towels and sandals. Will the naked you complete this rocking puzzle? “Reach out and touch” Lenny V. at X1113
FEMALE PIANO/KEYBOARD PLAYER wanted to accompany Sinatra/Bennett/Williams style saloon singer for the Cyprus Cove nightclub, The Bare Den, and for private beach events where you may do more dancing than singing. Good paying gigs are out there and waiting for some great nude jazz. Contact Lenny V. at Cabana 5B by knocking 4 times, or by dialing X1113
DRUMMER NEEDED After only a week our drummer flaked out on us and quit. We need an experienced naked drummer right now for our jazz-fusion band! I’ve already written some songs and have an extensive library of me performing them in a mirrored room. Contact Lenny V. at X1113 or email [email protected] for links.
BASS PLAYER available for subbing all gigs. Will play naked for your resort’s band or for private parties. Can be there in an instant’s notice. Call Lenny V. at X1113
Illustration by Chris Simmons. A different version of this first appeared on The Big Jewel.