Please explain what just happened.
I’m not really sure. One day I’m a struggling comic and truck driver, barely making ends meet, then all of a sudden it’s a whirlwind of mountains, steep cliffs, and foreign countries, People all over the planet suddenly know me. It’s cool, but I’m not sure it’s really happening. I have this fright in the back of my mind that I’m going to wake up to find out that it never happened.
What is your earliest memory?
Living in Louisiana and Texas as a little kid. A good place for a young explorer to discover the world, but bad places to be raised culturally diverse.
If you weren’t a comedian/truck driver, what other profession would you choose?
I would probably work as a linguist. I love to travel, and even more, I love to talk with people from all places and walks of life.
Describe a typical work day.
I wake up and immediately make coffee (without coffee my entire day is ruined). I check email and social online sites, then see what new online porn videos have been posted since yesterday. Then I go to work and pretend to be a regular guy. No matter what though, I’m a comic. I’ll never be one of “them”, and this is usually confirmed by noon, when I’m planning on quitting or am cussing every person in traffic on the road. By the end of the day I am an aggravated, worn out mess of a human. The only thing that makes it better is working out or getting on stage to vent. And as you can tell by my body, I usually go for the stage.
Is there a time you wish you’d lied?
I never wish to lie, but like all comics, the bullshit just happens sometimes.
What would you say to yourself if you could go back in time and have a conversation with yourself at age thirteen?
“Hey GW. You know how Grandma told you that it’s ok to eat more ‘cause a growing boy needs to eat, and that all that baby fat would be gone by high school? Yeah, well, Grandma was full of shit. Put down the bowl, fatty. It’s not gonna end well. Oh, and don’t jerk off in the tree house at night. The neighbors can see you.”
If you could have only one album to get you through a breakup, what would it be?
I’ve been married for almost two decades—music won’t get me through. But, Joe Satriani is what I play when I meditate.
What are three websites—other than your email—that you check on a daily basis?
WOW! That’s a loaded question! Facebook of course, Fox News, and any website that has young topless models, motorcycles, or both.
From what or whom do you derive your greatest inspiration?
The underdogs, the people who despite all the odds and people who were against them, took a chance and made something great happen.
Name three books that have impacted your life.
The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand. Proverbs 3:27. Heavy Duty, by Mike Mentzer.
If you could relive one moment over and over again, what would it be?
When I saw my name and face go across the screen on IRT: Deadliest Roads for the first time. I knew I was going to be on the show, but that in one moment it all became very freaking real.
If you could collaborate with any other artist, regardless of genre, who would it be?
Mel Brooks. If I could do just one movie, one time, with Mel Brooks, I would have nothing left to prove.
What makes you feel most guilty?
Leaving people behind—like people that I look up to for inspiration and as a mentors and friends. They should be way ahead of me, but for whatever reason they aren’t, and I want to take them with me, but I cant. They just don’t want it bad enough.
How do you incorporate the work of other artists into your own?
I don’t. I’m not too proud to admit that I’m not as talented as many others. I’m not as funny and probably not the smartest guy out there either, but I am my own man. I’m not like everyone else. I do my own thing and that’s what the people notice. I’m the person that stands out from the rest in every situation. I don’t want to be like anyone else. I want to be me.
Please explain the motivation/inspiration behind IRT:Deadliest Roads.
I always wanted to do a show like this, but Deadliest Roads was a dream come true. We were on roads that no American had ever taken a truck on in Bolivia, and we also took roads that no human had driven in Peru. I was getting to do something that not many, if any, people had gotten to do before. And to be honest, even if there had been no TV show behind it, I still would’ve done it.
What is the best advice you’ve ever given to someone else?
Don’t ever listen to me. Do it your own way.
List your favorite in the following categories: Comedian, Musician, Author, Actor.
Comedian: Sam Kinison. I wish I had met him.
Musician: Scott Lord (the guy made the first song that made me cry).
Author: Ayn Rand. She knew what was coming and we ignored it. So I guess we have it coming.
Actor: I’ve always been impressed with Laurence Fishburne. I’ve seen him do some stage acting, but Morpheus sealed the deal. He’s just too cool.
If you had complete creative license and an unlimited budget, what would your next project be?
I would love to do a show about going around the world on a motorcycle… all the bad ass countries that nobody ever goes to. I also wouldn’t mind being the first comedian in space.
What do you want to know?
Everything and nothing. I want to know how everything works, I just don’t want to know how it will eventually end. Knowledge is power, but ignorance is bliss.
What would you like your last words to be?
My mother always said that my last words would be when a terrorist has a gun to my head and says, “If your fat ass says one more word I’ll blow your brains out”… And I’ll say, “But…”
Please explain what will happen.
I don’t know what’s going to happen, and to be honest I like it that way. I don’t want to read the end of the book, I don’t want to hear a spoiler. I just want everyday to be a surprise, good or bad. I want to handle everyday as it comes and do the best I can to kick every day’s ass. But in the meantime should someone want to pay me tons of money to make a movie, I’m up for it.