Please explain what just happened.
What is your earliest memory?
Watching, fascinated, as my brother lit a paper-towel on fire, ‘recreating’ what we saw at the circus that night.I was about four.He dropped the burning paper towel on the shag rug, which woke my sick mom. It started an awesome bonfire in her room!
If you weren’t an actor, what other profession would you choose?
Probably someone who travels around doing cool stuff with animals.I wouldn’t want to die with a stingray’s barb in my heart though.That would blow.
Please describe the current contents of your refrigerator.
Mostly organic stuff.No meat.I mean, I eat meat.I just don’t buy meat very often.I’m kinda a half-assed vegetarian.I call it balance.
What verb best describes you?
Um, according to Schoolhouse Rock, “an adjective’s a word you use to really describe things; to say how thin, how fat, how short how tall…”A verb is “what’s happening.”Therefore, as a Schoolhouse Rock scholar, I call foul on this question.That said, I’m uh…“mouse-scrolly?”
What would you say to yourself if you could go back in time and have a conversation with yourself at age thirteen?
When your brother barges in on you masturbating the first time, shame on him.When he does it immediately after, shame on you!
What are the steps you take to regain your composure?
I pull the comb out of my back pocket, give my doo the once-over and proclaim, “Aaaaayyyy!”Works every time.
Embodying non-dual consciousness in order to Awaken and intentionally ease suffering for all sentient beings.That, or being able to pay my rent without borrowing money off a credit card.
From what or whom do you derive your greatest inspiration?
Anyone who creates from scratch.I admire all creative output because it takes effort and enthusiasm.In today’s world, that is inspiring in itself.But I’m a huge Danny Elfman fan, in case he’s reading this.
What change do you want to be in the world?
I really want to be one of those people about whom everyone says, “Man, that guy is just the most giving guy ever!”But, at this point I’d settle for getting people to stop using any/all products that are tested on animals.For fuck’s sake people… Don’t we have all the goddamn cosmetics and cleaning solutions we need at this point?Do we REALLY have to keep supporting companies that test this shit on animals?I mean, come ON!
Are you pro- or anti-emoticon? Please explain.
I must admit, I’m big on using the smiley face.But not the actual, yellow smiley face.I like old-school, sideways, “ : ) “ .Other than that, I don’t do emoticons.
How are you six degrees from Kevin Bacon?
My first film role was one line in a scene with Sean Young.She was in Blade Runner with Harrison Ford.He was in Raiders of the Lost Ark with Karen Allen.She was in Animal House with Kevin Bacon.Word.
What makes you feel most guilty?
I’m Jewish.What DOESN’T make me feel most guilty?
Please list three things you never leave home without.
Keys, wallet, phone.I try never to leave home without my dogs, but not everyone seems to like dogs.Go fricken figure…
What is the worst piece of advice you’ve ever gotten?
“You can totally use this erasable pen on your Eurorail pass.No one will ever suspect.”
What is the best advice you’ve ever given to someone else?
“Don’t date me.It will lead to pain for everyone involved.”
What do you consider the harshest kind of betrayal?
Probably abandoning your children.That seems pretty damn rude.
Of all the game shows that have graced our TV screens throughout history, which one would you want to be a contestant on and why?
Well, I guess “Jeopardy” because they’re the smartest, and they don’t have to scream or jump up and down.I’m not a big fan of jumping up and down while screaming.Unless of course, you’re jumping up and down on a fire, or a demon or something and screaming in reaction to the intensity of the situation.That would probably make sense.
What do you want to know?
How to save my thumb from texting-related carpal tunnel?I can’t give up texting, and using my other thumb is way too clumsy for such little buttons.
What would you like your last words to be?
Fuck you, Zombie.
Please explain what will happen.
Likely, more of the same until we all stand slack-jawed at the inevitable outcome of our selfish, ego-induced actions and think to ourselves, “Yeah… that figures.” But I sure hope what happens is complete peace and love for us all.That’d be way better.