Dear Peg Mokrass,

I have a very large crush on a very small man. He may be a dwarf. I am not sad, or happy. I am spooked. I bump into the cats. I spray deodorant on my face. Nothing feels the way it used to, and I am much too tall. Things are messed up. Sometimes, I contemplate finding Jesus. Any advice would be welcome. -Sincerely, Lovestruck and Tall

Dear LT,

I like little guys too! The heart follows its own Jim Jones to strange, remote islands. It tells us to drink its elixir, its Flavor Aid. LMAO x tragedy. Dude, to me? It sounds to me as though you are in deep, and this can only be good in terms of FINDING JESUS. I can help. [email protected]

When the heart leads us toward the following:

a. dwarfs

b. pillowy man with rickets

c. cosmetically enhanced contortionists

d. female Gestalt therapists

you know it’s time to ask for the the savior to make a house call!  LOL x God x [email protected] He needs the cash.

When the Lord arrives, have on something sweaty and cheesy (he’s corny) and sweltering. Serve ONLY organic hymen cherries ordered from [email protected] – Spread ’em around next to your basic Costco (and this is where you really save) rhubarb candles… Say the words he wants to hear.

Poof. Little-big-man will expand if not explode inside your soul.


Peg Mokrass,

Sanity Liposuction & Behavioral Goddess

Meg’s new book “Damn Sure Right” 88 flash fiction stories is available here from Press 53

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MEG POKRASS is a fiction writer who lives in San Francisco. Her collection Damn Sure Right can be pre-ordered (signed) now from Press 53. Yes! Meg will create animated book trailers, by author request! So...er.. request one! Additionally, she runs the weekly segment for BLIP magazine (formerly Mississippi Review) and runs the “Fictionaut Five” author interview series for Fictionaut. Her story, "Leaving Hope Ranch," published in Storyglossia was selected for Wigleaf’s Top 50 Flash Fiction 2009 List. She has published over one hundred stories and poems in journals such as Gigantic, Gargoyle, Wigleaf, Annalemma.

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