(717): I explained that they couldn’t leave the town hall until someone told me how long I’d been unconscious.
(540): Last time I use the word affordable, I can assure you of that. Why is my mouth so dry?
(202): I was at that stage in the evening when I couldn’t tell whose non-connected committee was supporting me.
(910): I told him I felt like keeping my tie on until I was good and finished.
(828): Be there in five. Make sure you’re wearing nothing but the Mitt “handlers.”
(316): We’ll hose that stuff off later. We need to keep moving. The dog is, frankly, the least of our concerns right now.
(415): I’m not gonna stand around and let some guy dressed in black leather lecture me about bonds.
(971): No, I don’t have the faintest idea what state I’m in! All I can tell you is that I’ve had the spins since New Hampshire.
(619): By the time I came to, the primaries were over and I was in some house I’d never even seen before. Then, I’m told that I own the place! What are the odds!
(307): Totally had glitter from the dressage show on my hands during that appearance on Face the Nation.
(313): I will continue to send you the message “Atta girl!” until I get some attention from you.
(719): I can never look the folks from Focus on the Family in the eyes after 2 AM.
(432): Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure it’s not lying if I deny it before someone accuses me.
(603): It was dark and I’d been muttering into the pillow that those cuts didn’t need to be extended. She paused and then said- Do I even know you?
(774): I’m in no shape to be talking about issues that are social right now.
(781): Once again, you’ve interrupted me during weeping time.
(862): So I told the cop it was 3.7 million. Completely went over his head that I was being ironic.
(212): I’m going to say this one last time- I view hijinks from an economic perspective.
(917): Holy smokes, risk-aversion!
(702): For an evening like this, it’s $10,000 a head. After that…depends what you’re into.
(857): Had the most magical dream. The ticket said Romney/Kerry and the crowd connected with our every word.
(508): I made a promise this morning that I’m never, ever going to let myself feel grounded again.
(334): Every time the guitar kicks up on “Proud to Be An American” I get hit with this incredible epiphany- I’m frightening!!
(801): No worries, bringing the LDS.
(775): I woke with a clown standing next to me, an empty tub of Crisco and all my clothes on except for my flag pin. Gotta get me another one of those.
(310): Kayne told me that humiliating yourself in public makes you popular. Why I am just now finding this out?
(219): We regret to inform you that your termination will be effectively immediately. LOL!
(207): They’re asking me to be myself. Tips?
(802): Perma-grin, again.
(305): Sweet mercy, I’m having the best week ever! No doubt about it- this thing’s a lock!
(734): What d’ya say we stick with complete psychic collapse anyway?
(617): I assume by booty you mean loot?