FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Kotex Masculine Protection Pads: 21st Century Protection for the 21st Century Man
Neenah, Wisconsin – Kotex, the leader in feminine protection, announces today the ambitious plan to expand its consumer base from 50.9 percent of the population to 100 percent. We’re not creating a new market niche but only fulfilling the needs of an existing one, visible when walking behind any crowd of men. Thus, we announce Kotex Masculine Protection Pads. If women have periods, men have exclamation points, and they can happen any day of the month. Men, your exclamation points are as unique as you are!
Now you’ll wear those khaki pants with confidence. Our winged pads provide maximum absorption and leakage prevention. Our patented Masculine Protection Pads are made from the finest and thickest cotton, yet remain invisible whether inside boxers, briefs or male panties.
Out late last night drinking with the boys? No more fear of the “squirts.” Just line your preferred undergarment and let it rip. Kotex Masculine Protection Pads are designed for even the most challenging days.
Say goodbye to embarrassing spotting. Walk the office corridors proud that you’ve forever silenced the chatter and laughter at the water cooler you couldn’t help but know was aimed at the results of your exclamation points.
We at Kotex understand men may blush when first purchasing Masculine Protection Pads, but as word spreads that every man uses masculine protection, your blush will transform into a smile.
To our investors, we know you’ll see the value in our doubling Kotex product sales. We will aggressively market masculine protection as a need that has been neglected for too long and which every male must satisfy. Society changes, and so does Kotex. We’ve realized the time is now for men to begin considering what women have for so long deemed a matter of habit, and we will pose that habit as a necessity.
We want all men to enjoy the kind of protection women take for granted. Whether you’re out of toilet paper or too busy for proper hygiene, Kotex Masculine Protection Pads will be there to keep you looking fresh and clean, whether or not you actually are. And for big men, Kotex Maximum Masculine Protection Pads will safeguard you against even the heaviest intake of creamy sauces.
Slim or big, Kotex Masculine Protection Pads provide the 21st Century man a solution to the problem that’s lasted throughout the existence of his clothes and perhaps even longer. Join Kotex in the 21st Century. Turn that sad exclamation point into a happy exclamation point, announcing to the world, “I’m a man, and I wear Kotex Masculine Protection Pads!”