Cynthia Hawkins:  Hi Simon Smithson! Here we are again like an ’80s action sequel striving to be bigger and badder than last time. I’d just like to note that for the occasion I’m wearing mirrored sunglasses and just lit a match off my husband’s five o’clock shadow for no reason at all.  In other words, I’m ready to discuss The Expendables.

Take note.We are one month away from my birthday (Aaron Dietz directed my attention to a Tauntaun sleeping bag, if you’d like to start up a collection), and every year on my birthday I go see a movie.Which isn’t so unlike any other time of year, except that any other time of year I can choose not to go to the movies if there’s nothing good on.But on my birthday, I MUST GO TO THE MOVIES. I must because somehow squashing down in a theater seat with a contraband package of HoHos has become a tradition that if not practiced will result in meteors pelting the earth, puppies and kittens spontaneously combusting, and Sandra Bullock winning an Oscar.