What day is it? Is it Blurnsday today? It feels like a Blurnsday out there.

Time has ceased to have any real and true meaning – the days have become a blur of highway, movie scenes come to life, and the varied ranks of TNB. I’m keeping track of the weeks by marking off the vague offers of visa-superceding marriage I’m accruing from people I haven’t met and the one from someone I have (please note, ma’am, not only am I totally serious, but I’ll tell all of my friends that I think you’re really cool).

That being said, here’s what happened at the start of the week.

Yes, I agree, I deserved to be sat next to a big fat person for thinking Jesus, I hope I don’t have to sit next to a big fat person on this flight.

Yes, I agree, I deserved to be sat next to the biggest, fattest person on the flight after watching this person in particular walk down the aisle and thinking Jesus. Like that one right there.

Behind the faded green duplex
the spider sleeps under the leaf
Where I make volcanoes out of mud
like the ones in Italy

My dad is singing drunk songs,
pounding a wall full of patch-ups
The Chinese landlord smells like vinegar
and mumbles to himself fixing
our broken faucet with the wrong tools
Last week he repaired our cracked front door
by painting over it like Picasso
But he’s no Picasso
He’s a slumlord of a hovel
on American dirt with Italian volcanoes
that someday will drop this place

Just one match away and I’ll make history
and send him to bed mumbling forever
Pull the spark from my pocket
My cat drops the pigeon from his mouth
The spider wakes
The faucet still drips
The roaches bathe
And Picasso watches the smoke rise
from a backyard in Los Angeles

I have stolen the keys to the TNB blog and am now going to take it for a spin. I may get booted off TNB for doing so, but before I’m found out, I thought I’d show some pictures of me hanging out with various TNB contributors, just to brag about the fact that I personally know them and stuff.