By Nathaniel Missildine


* Accept with pleasure

* Decline with regret

* Accept with overblown joy

* Decline with studied indifference

* Accept but don’t plan on enjoying myself beyond the open bar

* Decline but will be standing outside on your lawn gazing in through back window for the duration of the evening’s festivities

* Accept though it’s really our turn to invite

* Decline to admit I don’t know what R.S.V.P. stands for

* Accept that, if I do, even this small amount of French will be pronounced incorrectly