Moving in with your partner should be a time of joy — but you can only make the most of it after you’ve discussed every critical detail. In this post, we’ll highlight what you and your partner need to discuss before moving in and what legal requirements cohabitation agreements have, as explained by LawDistrict.
Finding the Right Place
Before either party packs up their belongings, you need to agree on a place to live. It may make more logistical sense to pick either your current home or theirs, but even this comes with a lot of considerations. For example:
● Is it close enough to both of your workplaces?
● Are there any problems with the neighborhood?
● Is there reliable public transportation nearby?
● Do you plan to stay in that place for a long time?
● Will one person be isolated from friends/family?
With these questions in mind, you might instead decide to search for a new place, one that’ll suit both you and your partner. Something as simple as a long commute or a busy nearby road may frustrate you over time, and it’s essential that you’re both happy.
Should You Sign a Cohabitation Agreement?
Signing a housing contract with your partner probably already feels formal enough, but you may get a lot of mileage out of a cohabitation agreement. These documents set out rules for you and your partner living together and could save you a lot of arguments.
Cohabitation agreements are growing in popularity, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed to ask your partner to sign one. If anything, it’ll help them too. Here are the key benefits you’ll both see from signing one of these documents:
● Defines responsibilities: These forms split the home’s finances between you and your partner, letting you decide who takes care of rent, utilities, groceries, and more.
● Protects property: You can also use this document to highlight who owns what. It’ll also specify what counts as jointly-owned personal property, such as shared electronics.
● Clarifies debts: The document can also clarify that you’re not responsible for a partner’s debts and vice versa, ensuring you don’t eventually face their creditors.
● Encourages honesty: Simply signing this document will prompt conversations that may never happen otherwise — these forms will push you two to be more honest.
● Simplifies emergencies: You can add terms about power of attorney, next of kin rights, and more. If an emergency develops, you can quickly refer back to these.
● Reinforces goals: These discussions will also help you think and talk about the future, highlighting whether you two have the same priorities when living together.
● Breakup contingencies: A cohabitation agreement may also outline what will happen if you two end the relationship, especially in regard to the lease and deposit.
Other Practical Considerations
There are plenty of situations you and your partner must go over to make sure you’re always on the same page. For example, how will you split chores? Will one person take care of the dishes every week while the other vacuums?
You should also discuss your schedules. If you’re a night owl while your partner’s an early bird, this could cause friction. For this reason alone, it might be worth having a two-bedroom place — this stops any rude awakenings if you go to bed particularly late.
Similarly, do you want a pet? Would that be allowed on the lease you’ll share? These talks could save you future headaches and disappointments. It might feel awkward to bring them up before moving in, but it’ll go a long way towards making sure you’re both comfortable.
Managing Relationship Dynamics
For many couples, privacy is an essential component of their relationship. Suddenly, going from having your own space to sharing a home can be daunting, no matter how excited you are. This is perfectly natural, so don’t beat yourself up for sometimes needing time alone.
Do you need a separate space for working, for example? If you both work from home, you might want to be clear about needing privacy and quiet. Don’t worry about asking this; in all likelihood, they’ll be happy to accommodate you, even if it means working in separate rooms.
In addition, separate bedrooms are again a wise decision. There might be times when you fight and simply don’t feel comfortable sharing a bed while everything cools down. You might again have different sleep patterns, making the same bed every night impractical at best.
You must also consider how you’ll handle disagreements. Arguing with a roommate and arguing with your partner are stressful enough separately, after all, whether it’s in the contract or not, set ground rules, such as not yelling or using a “pause” word to de-escalate a situation.
Final Thoughts
You and your partner need a pre-written cohabitation agreement before you move in. This helps you clarify problems before they develop — the right template from a reputable site can even let you customize it to fit your unique situation.
